America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Sings for Alicia Keys

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Bring It On

Back at the house, the girls talk about who did well and who didn't. It is widely noted that Leila didn't have such a hot shoot, and she had a poor showing in the challenge. Laura tells us that Leila should not be America's Next Top Model, because her walk is super crapola. She deserves this more than Leila does, she tells us. Given the curse that often accompanies the winner of this show, I would actually believe that to be true.

With that, it's time for panel. The photo of Rob and Tyra that is shown to lead is in does not involve Tyra being thrown up and/or landing in a vat of barbeque sauce. And wow, it's been a while since I've made a Tyra/ribs joke! How have you been, old friend? There are prizes, there are judges. I kind of miss the guest judges. I mean, mostly they were useless, but at least you got to see what Beverly Johnson was up to and that kind of stuff. And remember the challenges they used to do at judging? They may have seemed stupid at the time, but without them we never would have known the wonder that was Yaya spitting out umeboshi.

Victoria is up first for evaluation. It should be noted that all of the girls have their hair slicked back, and Tyra says this makes Victoria look cute and bird-like. She doesn't mention the giant feather earrings that also may add to this effect. As for Victoria's photo, Kelly does not like her body position and says that she looks like a middle aged man about to take a nap on a new bed. Now, that comment was not up to snuff. If we were back in the Janice Dickinson days that comment would have been, "You look like a homeless amputee about to pass out on a park bench after I blew him." Wow, I am so nostalgic right now! Rob likes the picture and generally enjoys Victoria. Tyra is also a fan, particularly because the photo is not too cheerleader-esque in nature. There's at least one positive online video by a crazy person, so that is in Victoria's favor too. In the end she gets a 6 from Kelly and 8s from Tyra and Rob.

Leila is next, and Rob tells her that she looks very in control of the situation and has good body position. However, with her face, he's afraid that she'll be characterized as a one-dimensional model. Top Model fan Jesus says that he loves everything about the picture except for the face, which could have been controlled more. And he made that face so he knows what it's capable of. Kelly thinks that Leila totally looks like a model standing in front of her, but in the photo it looks like she's been bitten in the eye by a mosquito at a drag queen slumber party. If there was ever a fabulous place to get EEE, that would be it. Tyra says that Leila put all of her tension into her neck instead of into her booty, where all tension should go. And though Leila is popular online, Bryanboy personally feels that she needs to step it up. When did he get permission to start sharing his own opinions? I don't like it. Leila gets a 4 from Kelly, a 6 from Tyra and a 7 from Rob.

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America's Next Top Model

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