This week, Top Model tries to fool you into thinking you're actually watching the Project Runway premiere as the girls find themselves becoming muses for fashion design students. Each girl has a Bea Arthur-approved powder blue '80s suit that is turned into a fashion-forward garment inspired by her personality. The girls then participate in a runway show in which they have to model said garment in front of a small audience and give a three-sentence speech about what makes them so muse-like. In what I'm sure is a huge shock, Heather has some problems with speaking in front of people, and it really gets her down. Back at home, she takes out her frustrations on the rest of the girls when she calls the shower first, but Saleisha and Lisa dart in before her. Likely traumatized by the time Bianca cut in line for the phone, Heather decides to take a stand. The real mystery here is why everyone showers together and/or hangs out in the bathroom while other people are showering. It's like a Porky's 3 fantasy. Let's hope Heather doesn't drop the soap. In the end, Heather kind of goes off, and the other girls are a little freaked out by her, and also a little tired of her. I myself am tired of hearing the word "fustrated." The photo shoot for the week finds the girls stranded in the desert, posing with a burning car. It's all good times until Jenah's weave goes up Michael Jackson-style. No, no, just kidding. But how awesome would that have been? If there ever was a weave that deserved to be incinerated, that one is it. While Bianca, Chantal, Jenah, and Saleisha sparkle Death Valley-style, Heather, Lisa, and Ambreal struggle to show off their sequined mini-dresses and look annoyed and hot all at the same time. At judging, a very colorful Chinese dragon-lion prances around the room and lets the girls know that the six who make it through judging will be going to Shanghai. Ambreal, however, will have to enjoy some General Tso's stateside, because she finally gets the axe.
Previously: Tyra gave the girls a master class in being video hos, and they were able to use their new skills in an Enrique Iglesias video. While Lisa and Heather were naturals as skanky, forward vampires, Sarah and Chantal did not impress. Sarah was sent home, where she will, we hope, be able to conquer the complex about her weight that she developed on the show, and then smother the eventual winner. With kisses!
We enter to see Lisa preening in front of the mirror. She says that she wants the perfect ten from the judges, but that this will never happen. How's that for being an optimist? Once you start thinking you're doing well, she says, they don't like it. Dennis Kucinich knows exactly how Lisa feels. Just once, he'd like to hear Nigel tell him he's so wrong he's right and get his picture first. Lisa tells us that she feels good about getting called first last week, and that she wants to stay at the top of the pack, but that she knows she won't, because the other girls are really good. Meanwhile, Bianca asks Heather what her prediction is for the top five. Heather just kind of shrugs and eats her cereal. She tells us that she got really bummed out after Sarah left, because she and Sarah were really close. It's worse this time than when girls have been eliminated before. That's because Sarah was kind of the only one who seemed to care that Heather was about to pass out at the video shoot. The others were all, "What? Heather? I think she's in the bathroom. Oooh, don't break your heel on that ashen vampire prop that fell on the floor!" Heather tells Bianca that she doesn't want to see anyone go home. Bianca lies that she doesn't either, but that, at some point, either one of them might have to go. She tells Heather that she doesn't want to see her go home, because she'll break down. Nice. If there's one thing you can say about Bianca, it's that she's relentless. Bianca interviews that Heather will be put in situations and won't be able to handle herself -- she'll really have a nervous breakdown. One can only hope it's on camera!