America's Next Top Model

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Just Let The Bitch In The Shower, Already

Tyra Mail! "Get ready to be schooled. I know you'll be aMUSEd." Chantal conjectures that Tyra is going to teach them how to be inspiring. Chantal has already inspired me to start a non-profit dedicated to the advancement of pretty yet dumb people. Except there is another organization with this same mission, and it's called "Life."

The girls head to the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising. You know that Tim Gunn got Tyra's request to film this at Parsons, gave a small chuckle to himself, shook his head once, and wrote a note back that said, "Do NOT carry on." At FIDM, the girls meet Benny Ninja, who is dressed like Spock at a gay bagpipe convention. He introduces the girls to Neal Hamil, the director of Elite Model Management. Oh, wow! This is the time when Neal Hamil starts to get panicky about his latest acquisition for the Dead Weight Division of Elite. He tells the girls that today's challenge is going to be about being a designer's muse. Each girl will be paired with a student designer, and her job is to inspire that designer to create a look especially for her. The resulting fashions will be displayed in a runway show the following day. Neal Hamil is super-creepy with his 1970s glasses and hair, and I get the feeling that he's actually the director of the El-Eat Model Agency and really just wants to take some naked pictures of the girls on his grimy vinyl couch. But no matter. Everyone is busy looking at the pale blue monstrosity of a dress that each designer will have to use for his or her raw material. It's, like, something that not even Bea Arthur would wear.

The girls meet their student designers. Student Angelo Estrada asks his model, Lisa, to tell him a little about herself. She says that she loves to draw, and to show her legs. Well, everyone has to have hobbies. She interviews that they're supposed to inspire a designer based on who they are, but that she just went blank. If there is one time when it would benefit Lisa to tell someone that she's a bikini dancer, this is probably it. Well, second only to the semi-finals. Benny plays Tim Gunn as Bianca's designer, Yuko Pena, tells her she's thinking Cleopatra. Bianca isn't feeling it. Student Richard Chan asks Chantal to give him a pose that makes her the model that she is. Chantal puts a hand on a cocked hip and gives her best fierce face. Yep, that about sums it up. Angela Avanesyan tells Jenah that she sees her as a ballerina, and Jenah asks where the rock-star element comes in. I would probably tell my designer that I was a rock star, too, so I can't fault her for this. Bianca's designer, meanwhile, is prattling on about the fact that Cleopatra wouldn't be on a public beach, but rather in the Mediterranean. Bianca wonders what the Mediterranean Sea has to do with New York City. These two are quite the dream team, eh? Yuko then says that she wants to give Bianca little big earring. Bianca scowls. Heather meets her designer, Justin Green. She says that he was nervous at first, which made her nervous. Julia Chumak is excited to work with Ambreal, who tells her that she's goofy and crazy. Heather tells Justin that when she was a kid, her friends were always water nymphs while she was air or fire, which makes sense because she's a fire sign. Hoo boy. Justin quite succinctly interviews, "Usually when I work with other models I don't really have to work as hard." Angelo, meanwhile, wants Lisa to be the model who crashes the party. He says that she's elegant, but also has a party girl side to her, so he wants to fuse the two. Benny Tim Gunns that Bianca doesn't look too happy with Yuko's plans. Bianca says that she likes a lot of in-your-face colors, and Benny replies, "Like a Crayola crayon threw up on you?" Yes, this is right. Yuko decides to do a fitted tutu, which Benny thinks will look a lot better. If only Jeffrey had gone this route with Angela's mom! Benny dismisses the girls so the designers can get to work in preparation for the runway show tomorrow.

Back at the house, Lisa says that she's preparing to strut her stuff at the challenge, and not show any fear. This bit of foreshadowing really made me curious what the magnitude of her fuckup was going to be. Some of the girls talk, and Bianca says that her pictures are getting better and she's really happy, but she wants to win a challenge. She interviews that this is her time to shine. Meanwhile, the judges have been confusing the crap out of Ambreal. She interviews, in what I believe is the exact same interview from last week, that the judges lost faith in her, and thus wanted to send her home, and that she has to prove that she deserves to be there. At this point I was really hoping she'd go home this week, just so I wouldn't have to hear that same old song anymore.

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America's Next Top Model

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