America's Next Top Model

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Just Let The Bitch In The Shower, Already

Heather is next, and is praying to God that this works out, because she really wants it. Remember that one week when Heather looked amazing in all her interviews? That week is over. She walks out on the runway and starts getting a bit of stage fright. She begins to tell the audience that she's Justin's muse, but instantly gets thrown off track by the fact that she can't say the word "muse." She looks around and giggles nervously, Benny Ninja puts his head in his hands, and we cut to commercials.

When we return, Justin looks like he wants to murder Heather. She eventually gets out that through her timeless look and gentle personality she was able to inspire the spirit of the ocean. Heather interviews that she was trying to be elegant and fierce and all the things that Justin -- who looks more like Bobby Trendy with each passing reaction shot -- want her to be, but that it was too much. Yes, sometimes life is very challenging. She comes backstage and pouts. Chantal says that the competition is getting stiff and fierce, and that Heather's nerves are getting to her.

Ambreal is ready to do what she has to do and win a challenge. She prances on tothe runway in her Alice in Wonderland falling-down-the-neon-sign-hole dress, and thinks she did a pretty good job. So does Justin, who I think will make a point of clapping extra loud for every model who isn't as impaired as Heather.

Jenah is next, and her rocker attitude and angelic looks inspired a rock-star ballerina dress. Her whole thing is very Gwen Stefani, which Neal enjoys.

Lisa is nervous backstage, and she walks out and also gets stumped for a moment. She helped inspire her design due to her soft and conservative ways, and also her edgy and exotic something-or-other. Ann Shoket looks troubled, probably because Lisa does not appear to know what "conservative" means. Lisa interviews that she sucked, which is pretty much true. She pouts, "No more America's Next Top Model for me" as she comes backstage. Chantal interviews that you are going to make mistakes, and that you just have to dust it off and get it together. Yes, dust it off like so many sprays of baby's breath in a congratulatory bouquet.

Chantal is next on the runway, where she says her ethereal and graceful personality contributed to her goddess Barbie dress. Ann Shoket is 100% sure this time that Chantal does not know what "ethereal" means. I think that's a safe bet.

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America's Next Top Model

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