America's Next Top Model

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Just Let The Bitch In The Shower, Already

Saleisha is next. Her girly personality inspired her designer to create a pixie ensemble. Neal thinks that Saleisha has good presence on the runway, and that he really enjoyed watching her sell the dress. Oh my God, it's happening! Now he's going to ask her to be in some newspaper advertisements. Will Mrs. Garrett be able to save Saleisha from the borderline kiddie porn operation in time? Either way, next week's ANTM will be sure to be a very special episode. Jenah mocks Saleisha's girly ways and wink at the end of the runway. That is pretty irritating.

Neal and Ann judge the girls. Ambreal rushed it a little, and oversold her dress. Ann warns her not to step over the line into corny and cheesy. Ann loves to call people corny! Even her vocabulary is stuck in the '70s. Bianca's attitude gets props, except for the part where the attitude overshadowed the dress. Lisa's flubs derailed her, and Ann says that she needs to have the confidence just to skate right over it. Neal agrees that when she spoke, it was a weak moment. Lisa interviews that she already knew what they were going to tell her. Ann notes that Heather's dress was inspired by the beach, and it was a pretty blah trip. It was, like, Beached Whale Beach. Ann felt like Heather didn't want to be there, and Neal was disappointed that she couldn't deliver her three lines. Ann adds that even if Heather's not feeling it, she has to make Ann feel it. If Ann had given this critique to Bianca, Bianca would have responded, "Oh, I'll make you feel it, all right," and we'd be left with nothing but a bloody muumuu on the ground. Heather interviews that she's not the ocean; she's not even a water sign, she's a fire sign. In this case, I don't think Heather can blame Asperger's for the fact that she's f'ing crazy.

In any case, the winner of the challenge is Saleisha. She feels good that she impressed the reps from Elite and Seventeen. Saleisha picks Bianca and Lisa to share in her prize. Bianca's excited about this, since she hasn't gotten to partake in any challenge-related winnings yet. She should try winning a challenge. Heather, meanwhile, is bawling. Saleisha tells her not to beat herself up over it, but Heather says that she did the worst of anyone. Saleisha and Lisa tell her that there's still lots of time left to redeem herself. Lisa interviews that Heather's very sensitive, and felt a little bit frustrated. "I can understand that frustration pretty good," she adds. Lisa's grasp on the first "r" in "frustration" is shaky at best, though I wouldn't say that this is the defining factor in making everything that she says sound SO FREAKING SAD. Cheer up, Charlie. Bianca, less sympathetic, says that Heather needs to get tough skin and keep bouncing back. I actually think that this is what Heather needs to hear. As Bianca points out, nobody in the fashion industry is really thinking about making you feel good about yourself. Heather interviews that she's pushing herself as hard as she can, and that she doesn't know what's wrong, but it's really frustrating. Heather's grasp on the first "r" in "frustrating" is nil, which is exactly the critique I'd give her, and then shout "fustrating fustrating fustrating" at her until she cried, with a few "liberry"s thrown in for good measure.

Bianca, Saleisha, and Lisa head off to the Seventeen jewelry shoot. Saleisha is happy to pose in some normal clothes and get to be pretty, for once. She says that she's going to buy every Seventeen on the shelf, presumably so that she can gaze upon how great Bianca's picture came out.

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America's Next Top Model

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