America's Next Top Model

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Just Let The Bitch In The Shower, Already

And, oh my God, Jaslene is giving autographs at Wal-Mart. As if Wal-Mart isn't terrifying enough!

When we return, Ambreal talks to her dad on the phone. She says she's trying to do her best, and her dad tells her to do more than her best. Ambreal wants her parents to be proud of her, so it's important for her to step up her game for the photo shoot. Her dad, in turn, promises to lift her up in prayer. Jesus is all, "Sorry, but I'm on Team Heather."

The girls head on a road trip to the shoot, and are driving in their bus for hours. Suddenly, someone thinks to look out of the window, and they discover that they're in the middle of the 135-degree desert. Please let Chantal be scooped up by a giant mutant bird of prey! The bus drives off and they are stranded, or so they supposedly think. They see a figure coming toward them. It's Mr. Jay, looking just like a mirage that's going to start singing about what you get when you guzzle down sweets. He tells them that, today, they're going to be in model wasteland, with burning cars behind them. It's not about giving pretty, but giving desperation and emotion to sell the image. As they all applied to be on this show of their own free will, I'm thinking they should have the "desperation" thing down. Lisa is glad that she gets another chance to redeem herself, and just hopes she doesn't start to overthink it, because whenever she does, she does a bad job.

The girls head to hair and makeup, and Jay introduces them to Trevor O'Shana, their photographer for the day. Bianca is up first, in a gold sparkly dress. I imagine that she gets to stand in front of a burning car about once a week in her regular life, so should be able to nail this. She says that she's confident and ready to go, and right now her only concern is getting called first. Jay says that she's wearing him out with how fabulous she is. In makeup, Sutan tells Heather that she's a very beautiful woman. Heather thanks him, and notes that that's what was said in the challenge, but...and at the mere hint that Heather is going to launch into the world's tiniest fiddle solo AGAIN, the other girls tell her to let it go. Heather tells us that she still has all the fustration left over from the challenge, but that she doesn't want to let it get in her way.

Heather's up next, and Jay tells her to do what she would do if she were stranded in the desert in front of a burning car. Walk away from the car? I'm no survivalist, but that strikes me as the obvious choice. Jay says that Heather was lost today, and tells her that most of the shots were pretty awkward. Heather hopes that Jay isn't too disappointed.

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America's Next Top Model

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