America's Next Top Model
America's Next Top Model

Episode Report Card
Potes: B+ | 520 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
A Schlock And Bull Story

Tyra tells the girls that, after this competition she wants them to be strong enough to lift their heads up high and be able to handle everything and anything that comes their way. She wants them to speak well, look great, be intelligent (GOOD LUCK WITH THAT ONE) and know this industry. And if Tyra has to say things that make the girls hate her, and if their fans hate her (NEWSFLASH, EINSTEIN: THEY ALREADY DO), so be it. Tyra's going to sacrifice herself for them. Wow, that's really noble. Tyra does well at sacrificing herself for people, like her staff, for instance. Tyra tells the girls that she's going to be harsh and strong in judging, but that it's coming from a place of love, and a place of "mama." Oh, the place of mama. I know it well. Tyra then says -- and this I have to quote directly right now -- "And the one thing that's important to know is that when you're getting coached and trained with something, it's the worst feeling in the world. And you reject it. You're like, 'Ugh.' But then when you're in the jungle, and the things are happening that that coach said, you're like, 'DAMN! Oh my gosh, it's coming true!' One day it's gonna hit you and you'll be like, 'Dang, Tyra said that.' All right, so I'll see you guys later, okay?" In the jungle? Seriously? That woman is a straight fool.

Tyra Mail! "Only the Elite will continue on in the competition. Get ready to See who will Go and who will stay." Oooh, the capital letters provide a clue! I wonder what it all means.

Well, of course it means that the girls are going on go-sees. They first meet Pancho Saula, Director of Elite Barcelona. He has assembled ten designers to see the girls. The designers will evaluate the girls on their appearance, runway walk, personality, and portfolios. If the girls see more designers, they'll have more chances to land a job. Pancho says that Spaniards love girls who smile and have a lot of energy. Each girl gets her portfolio and a map of Barcelona, and Pancho tells them that they have to be back to the agency by 6:00 PM. Melrose astutely notes that this is the most important rule.

Once outside, some are alliances formed. Caridee notes that, given that the map was in Spanish and the whole situation was a little stressful, she had a feeling that she was in for a tough time. Eugena says that she was planning on going by herself, but that she didn't want to get lost, and then Caridee wanted to team up. So those two go off together. And then the twins just sort of naturally teamed up. You would expect that. Melrose says her strategy was to go by herself, and have a great day of getting away from the other hos.

America's Next Top Model

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