America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Sticks Her Foot In Her Mouth

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A Schlock And Bull Story
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously: ACTING! Michelle still didn't know what she wanted, and the girls packed their bags for a trip to Spain. They had to speak in Catalan, and sucked universally. Well, except for Melrose. And it pains me to report that. Jaeda especially sucked, however, and got sent back to the good old U.S.A., where people are more accepting of very high levels of testosterone and man-jaws.

We are still in Barcelona, where the streets are paved with racist male models. Caridee paces in the girls' beautiful apartment. She interviews that a part of her thought she was going home last week when she was in the bottom two, but that there was a stronger part of her that was saying that it wasn't her time to go. That is the part known as Carideenial. Caridee asks Michelle how many times she's been in the bottom two. The answer is twice. Caridee says, "Yikes," which is what I say as well. Michelle interviews that this is a really big learning experience for her. She doesn't know what she wants in life -- maybe it's modeling and maybe it's not. See, that is what I call a healthy outlook. ["If I wanted healthy, I would go to Whole Foods. I come to Top Model to see skinny bitches demented with unrealistic ambitions!"-- Wing Chun] Caridee says that she really wants this, and doesn't know what else she wants in life. I might suggest some sort of medication. I mean, it's all brain chemicals. There's no shame. We get yet another flashback to Caridee's stint in the bottom two. Was it really so dramatic that we need two flashbacks in the opening segment? She says that it felt good to get a photo, because she has worked her ass off in this competition. But not literally, which is a good thing, since Caridee's ass is one of the more endearing things about her.

It is then another day, or another time of the day. Who knows. Caridee says that she wants to get out of the house, and Melrose suggests that they call Luca. He lives on the second floor, you know. I think you've seen him before. Eugena explains that they called up the guys from the photo shoot. Minus the racist fuck, I would imagine. Melrose gets Luca on the phone and asks if he wants to accompany them to dinner. He replies, "Sure. Just don't ask me what it was!" Melrose interviews that, when she goes to a foreign country, she likes to have a nice dinner out and a glass of wine, or four. See, I totally thought she was going to say that she liked to experience the local flavor with some natives. And all she wants to do is eat and get wasted. Eh, I'm kind of down with that too, though. Melrose asks Luca to bring some friends, and ends the conversation with "Goodbye, sexy." He replies, "I walked into the door again."

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America's Next Top Model

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