America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Sticks Her Foot In Her Mouth

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A Schlock And Bull Story

We are introduced to panel with a photo of Tyra dressed as a bull. 100% grade A fierce. And seriously, she needs to start wearing clothes that fit. It's true about the vagina arms. There are prizes, there are judges. Miss J.'s hair is coiffed like bull horns. Twiggy looks like a flapper. Pancho Saula is the guest judge, and is probably wondering what the eff is wrong with all these crackheads.

Then, there is a challenge. Nigel asks each girl to step forward and say which of the girls there has the most potential, and which has the least. Melrose is first. She, of course, says that she has the most potential, because she's watched the show before. She says that she's determined and she wants it. The least potential, Melrose says, lies in Eugena. This is because she never hears Eugena say that she wants it. She hears nothing, and that's scary. Oh, the fearful sound of silence. Melrose should try it sometime.

Then it's Eugena's turn, and she is awesome. She says that she has the most potential because it's been a struggle for her. She didn't start off at the top, but this competition is all about the journey to get to the top. Eugena says that Amanda has the least potential because in this industry you can't second-guess yourself.

Then there's Caridee, who says that of course she's going to pick herself for most wanting to win America's Next Top Model. Yeah, but that wasn't the question, dumb-ass. I like Caridee, but I'm kind of sick of her this week. She says that she has a really big passion for this industry. She says the least capable person is Amanda, because she doesn't feel desire beaming from her. Caridee says that if she's going to lose, she wants to lose to someone who wants it just as bad as she does. I thought Michelle was the twin who didn't want it. Interesting.

Then it's Amanda's turn. She says that she'll exclude herself from the most potential game, because she feels no need to talk about herself. But other than herself, the person with the most potential is Eugena, though Amanda isn't sure she's using it. Amanda kind of surprisingly says that Caridee is the girl with the least potential because she has "country girl" features and, while they're strong, Amanda feels like she's seen them before. Caridee looks like she wants to slice Amanda's bony chest open and eat her raw heart.

And then there is poor Michelle. She says that she's not going to go with herself for the strongest, because she doesn't think that she's the strongest. She's going to go with Caridee, because Caridee has a bubbly personality. And then Michelle starts crying. She says that she doesn't know whom to pick for the weakest, and that sometimes she thinks she's the weakest because she doesn't know what she wants. Okay, this is what you call a sacrifice fly. Michelle says that she sees other girls who want this so badly, and that she doesn't know if she has the energy and passion Caridee and Melrose have. She says that when she tries hard in photo shoots, it's never right, but when she just sits there and the camera captures her, she has natural talent. She says that she doesn't know how to be super-confident. She seems really upset, I think probably because she would kind of like to win and is totally sabotaging her chances so that Amanda has a shot.

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America's Next Top Model

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