America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Sticks Her Foot In Her Mouth

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A Schlock And Bull Story

And then there is Caridee, who pulls a little letter out of her pocket and reads it in front of the judges. It goes like this: "I want to take the time out to say thank you. I can never show my gratitude enough. Tyra: your heart has allowed me to make my dreams come true. I'm sorry if I disappointed or disrespected any of you. I hope you will allow me to carry on. There's nothing more that I want to do than represent all of you in a good, respectable, classy, fun, responsible way." Okay, what? That is whack. I'm surprised she didn't write a poem like, "Violets are blue/ Roses are red/ Sorry about the ass comment/ Kick off Amanda instead." Tyra says she appreciates that Caridee wrote the letter, because she heard about the rude and disrespectful remark to Nigel. Nigel says that Caridee's apology is accepted, but that they have to harp on this because an Elite Model with a Cover Girl contract needs to act with class, dignity, and respect. Is this before or after she snorts coke off of the bathroom floor? And I do enjoy Caridee, but classy she is not. In any case, Caridee's shot is okay. Tyra says that she sees great photography, but not strong modeling. Caridee says that the whole experience was intimidating, and starts crying. She says that she's trying too hard and overthinking it, and that's ruining her. Tyra says that Caridee's film was hoochie. Nigel says that he talked with her about body shape and elegance, and that he often finds with Caridee that she acts like she's listening, but really she's not. D'oh! Snap.

The judges deliberate. Twiggy says that the photograph of Amanda isn't her favorite, but that she thinks that she's got something rather special and would like to keep her in. Nigel says that waist-up modeling won't cut it. He actually gets a little snippy with the Twigs. He says that Amanda has the confidence and Michelle doesn't. Twiggy says the problem with Michelle is that she doesn't want to be there. Nigel counters that the problem with Amanda is that she doesn't really know how to model. Michelle, however, is a natural. Twiggy says that Nigel's opinion is not her opinion. Catfight! Get these girls a tub of Jell-O. Pancho plays the diplomat by saying that Amanda has a lot of potential. He also says that Michelle is the most interesting to him of all of the contestants, and that the great models are usually the ones who don't even know they can do it, at first. Eventually, with time, Michelle will get confidence and go for it. Miss J. says he thinks that, in time, Michelle will get bored with modeling. Twiggy thinks Michelle is a conundrum, and doesn't know what to do with her. Tyra wonders if Michelle does want this, but knows that her sister wants it more, so she is willing to sacrifice herself. Um, yeah. The judges act like Tyra just unearthed the Rosetta Stone. Get a clue, man. Caridee is very sweet, according to Pancho, but she seems sad. Like a sad clown! That's very European. Nigel says that they're watching a model fall apart in front of their eyes. Tyra notes that the whole letter trick is a Top Model first. Nigel thinks that the early praise she received went to her head, and that Caridee thought she had it in the bag. Then she got sassy and cool and didn't listen. Twiggy says that the photograph isn't good overall, even though she loves Caridee's face. Nigel says that Caridee's face didn't carry the heavy makeup very well. Miss J. prods and gets Nigel to admit that he thought Caridee looked drag-ish. Twiggy loves Melrose. Miss J. notes that all the other girls hate Melrose because she works so hard. Nigel says that what Melrose doesn't have is that intangible thing that makes him excited, or makes him want to shoot her. I guess she has an intangible thing for me, because I certainly do want to shoot her. Pancho says that he didn't like Eugena because she was very silent, both in words and presence. Nigel thought the same thing when she was on set, but says she used her fear and harnessed it. He notes that you can't bring a bull with you everywhere, however. Oh, if only. Tyra notes that Eugena's photo is fierce, and a wicked improvement over the first couple of weeks. It might be a fluke, but the photo is really great.

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America's Next Top Model

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