And then, more in the life of Fucking Eva. Today her glamorous activity involves signing photographs for approximately fourteen fans in a Walgreen's store. Several younger girls squee, and then someone asks her which aisle houses the Advil. Someone calls Eva her idol. That is just sad. And now I'm going to go smear Wetslicks all over my face, because I have no idea how to use it. I could sure use a TIP. Hint, hint.
When we return, we see the full faint again. And though I know it's not, it totally looks fake. I kind of expected someone to yell, "Timber!" A PA revives Rebecca relatively quickly. Noelle explains that Rebecca has a pre-existing condition. What is Noelle, a Blue Cross/Blue Shield rep? The condition makes her collapse. She's had tests done since she was three, but it's been six or seven years since the last time she fainted. Rebecca is shipped off in an ambulance all by her lonesome, which seems kind of mean. Tyra asks the remaining girls how many of them were scared and raises her own hand. Wow, she's really fine tuning this LCSW crap for her talk show, isn't she? Tyra explains that Rebecca's off to the hospital and is okay, so they're going to continue judging. And that was the end of the big drama. I must say that while the faint delivered, I expected more on the follow-up.
Tatiana is next. The judges tell her that she needs to be lighter on her feet. They ooze love over Tatiana's photo, which Janice calls "Stephanie Seymour meets Jacqueline Bisset." And it is really amazing how good Tatiana looks in photos, given her appearance in real life. Janice tells Tiffany that she looked like she needed a cane or walker when she came down the stairs. Nigel tells her to start doing the Stairmaster with her heels on. Her photo is great. Janice says it's, "A little Cherokee Indian, a little black girl, a little Chinese girl, a little Spanish girl. I'm lovin' it." Tiffany looks happy. Flambé tells Sarah that she walks like a funky chicken. Shut up, Porky. Tyra says that she could see Sarah's nerves too plainly. The judges think that her body is not strong in the photo, but that her face is beautiful. Tyra commends Lluvy for being the only girl to add style to her sack, which she wore off the shoulder and cinched at the side. Flambé tells her that she had a sexy Chihuahua walk, which makes no sense and is not even funny, unlike the nonsensical things Janice and Miss J. say. Lluvy makes a funny face which, for her, is de rigueur. Sandi tells her not to let her personality overshadow what she has on. Her photo is gorgeous and fierce, because everything good is gorgeous and fierce.