America's Next Top Model
America's Next Top Model

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Potes: B+ | 638 USERS: C+
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Viva Las Vagus

When we return, Rebecca notes that the last place she thought they'd go was K-Mart, but that it's cool with her because she's been to K-Mart a million times. This interview sponsored by K-Mart. As they enter, Miss J. is on the loudspeaker saying, "Attention all shoppers, attention all shoppers. Duel runway challenge in aisles one and two." He totally sounds like a Blue Light Special announcer! Now that's versatile. He tells the girls that a top model can take an everyday item and make it fabulous, and what better place to find everyday items than K-Mart? Naima -- whose Mohawk has grown to gigantic proportions -- interviews that K-Mart is the perfect place to find accessories with which to walk. Yes, we get it, K-Mart sells lots of crap. J. introduces Sandi Bass, former model and current talent scout, who is there to help with the competition. Hideous Christina the Head Louse is wearing a shirt that reads, "Today was a total waste of hair products." Hair products like Rid. Miss J. explains that the girls will be dueling with each other on the makeshift K-Mart aisle runway, and that one winner with the best walk will be named. The girls change into spiffy K-Mart clothes.

Christina and Brittany battle first. Brittany interviews that, on the football field, J. told her she was too sexy. Cut to Brittany wearing a "sexy" belt from K-Mart. Dumb-ass. She is eliminated. Miss J. narrates as Brandy, holding a frying pan, battles Naima, holding a sponge mop. "Mop, mop, mop and fry, fry, fry," he says. Brandy is eliminated. The K-Mart café workers look on with amusement, and I suddenly want to see the girls outfitted in blue smocks. Rebecca trumps Noelle. J. tells Michelle -- who has been bested by Tiffany -- to make her way to the layaway department. We see Lluvy in her underwear before she loses to a mop-headed (as pointed out by J.) Kahlen. Keenyah dominates a stupid-looking and gummy Tatiana, whose accessory is a tube of Polident. And then, poor Sarah has to walk all by herself because she sucks so bad. J. tries to give her some pointers, but she still looks like a giant rectangle on stumps. She gets a stupid look on her face when she walks, too, which isn't helping matters. J. tells her to pretend she's walking through hell in gasoline-soaked pajamas. Still no dice. And tell me you wouldn't love to see Miss J. amidst a crowd of differently-abled kids. I mean, this show has given him quite the résumé boost for such a career change. Despite the fact that she's not even competing against anyone, Sarah gets eliminated. That's gotta hurt.

America's Next Top Model

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