America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Suddenly Collapsed

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Viva Las Vagus

Tatiana is next. The judges tell her that she needs to be lighter on her feet. They ooze love over Tatiana's photo, which Janice calls "Stephanie Seymour meets Jacqueline Bisset." And it is really amazing how good Tatiana looks in photos, given her appearance in real life. Janice tells Tiffany that she looked like she needed a cane or walker when she came down the stairs. Nigel tells her to start doing the Stairmaster with her heels on. Her photo is great. Janice says it's, "A little Cherokee Indian, a little black girl, a little Chinese girl, a little Spanish girl. I'm lovin' it." Tiffany looks happy. Flambé tells Sarah that she walks like a funky chicken. Shut up, Porky. Tyra says that she could see Sarah's nerves too plainly. The judges think that her body is not strong in the photo, but that her face is beautiful. Tyra commends Lluvy for being the only girl to add style to her sack, which she wore off the shoulder and cinched at the side. Flambé tells her that she had a sexy Chihuahua walk, which makes no sense and is not even funny, unlike the nonsensical things Janice and Miss J. say. Lluvy makes a funny face which, for her, is de rigueur. Sandi tells her not to let her personality overshadow what she has on. Her photo is gorgeous and fierce, because everything good is gorgeous and fierce.

Tyra has nothing positive to say about Michelle's walk, and notes that she looked like she was modeling sacks for farmers in a potato factory. Her photo, however, is fierce, and Tyra commends her for her eye, which is on the side of her head like an antelope. And those are Tyra's words. She says that may sound like an insult, but that models are weird and different, and that's what makes the photo amazingly gorgeous. Michelle thinks, "Weird, check." I think that Michelle looks like a more severe Natalie Maines in her photo, which just serves to make me miss the Dixie Chicks. Nigel tells Brandy that he thought she might walk off the runway and smack him in the face, because she looked so pissed. Hee! Tyra demonstrates model angry versus hoochie angry, and explains that Brandy is the latter. In her photo, the shape of her face is gorgeous, but Flambé says that there's no passion in the eyes. Tyra tells Christina to, when hair flies in her face, wipe it away in a sassy model way. Flambé says that Christina's face is boring in her photo. Janice says that she's beautiful, not boring, but that she needs to "bring it from within." Nigel tells Naima to work on her turn, or she'll "knock other models like Skittles across the runway." Naima's photo works for Janice, Nigel, and Tyra, but not for Sandi or Flambé. But who cares what those two think, right?

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America's Next Top Model

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