America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Suddenly Collapsed

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Viva Las Vagus

The winning girls do a dance of happiness for their impending shoes. Kahlen then gives the best quote of the season so far: "In Oklahoma, we do have shoes, but...nothing like this." Just cardboard and packing tape, with occasional layers of lint for the winter months. I mean, come on. Sarah says that it's the best day of her life, which is just sad. I like a good pair of shoes as much as the next girl, but get out and live a little. Kahlen says it's like a Cinderella story.

Meanwhile, in the stockroom, Michelle is freaking out. She says that she was in the middle of two shoe walls and they started closing in, which scared the shit out of her. She looks totally frightening, like Mr. Furious. Keenyah tells her to just get out from between the shoe walls, and Michelle says she can do it as long as no one starts moving them while she's in there. I am momentarily filled with glee at the thought of her being smashed like a pancake. ["When I worked in a public library, we occasionally had to go get old magazines from the stacks, in the basement, which had shelves like that, and it was always really dark and cobwebby down there, and I'd check every shelf like twenty times before I went in there to make sure I was alone and there wasn't a psycho killer getting ready to crush me. Those shelves really can freak you out, even if you're not claustrophobic. Not to stick up for Gertrude Stein or anything." -- Wing Chun]

Keenyah interviews that when Michelle got back between the shoe walls and told no one to touch them, Keenyah made a move as if she was going to close them. Which is kind of an asshole maneuver. Michelle freaks out again, and can barely choke out words through her tears. Keenyah moves away from her and rolls her eyes, and Brandy starts cracking up. And I mean...call me cold-hearted, but it is kind of funny. Keenyah interviews that Michelle is normally very quiet, so it's weird that she'd have such a huge reaction. Tiffany tells Keenyah that she was just playing, so she shouldn't feel bad about scaring the shit out of Michelle. Brittany says that she doesn't know why Michelle flipped, and that it was literally crazy. Michelle interviews that she feels a wall building between her and the other girls, and that she hates when, at a low point, she exposes her emotions to others.

The loser girls wait on the winners. Michelle acts perky. Tiffany interviews that Michelle is bubbly one minute, but then snaps and flips out the next. "Michelle's crazy," says Tiffany. Rebecca asks the girls to get her a bunch of shoes to try on. Brittany interviews that Rebecca's attitude was snooty, which all of the girls felt and none of them liked. Tiffany serves Rebecca a chocolate-covered strawberry. Rebecca interviews that she tried to be a gracious winner, but that she worked her butt off in the challenge and deserves the spoils of victory. She tells Tiffany that she dropped a strawberry leaf in her water, and asks to have some more. Tiffany says that the winning girls treated the losers like dookie. Tell it to the hat. And while I do think that Rebecca is mostly kidding around and being campily prissy, I generally find it beneficial to be aware of when other people are finding you obnoxious, and then knock it off. Brandy interviews that her biggest challenge is to work on her attitude, but that she was mad. She brings Rebecca some shoes, which Dustin Hoffman helps her to lace up. Rebecca says she does think that the other girls were jealous, but that it was a competition and she couldn't choose everybody. Which, true enough. Dustin Hoffman gives all the winners hugs, which causes the losers to be ever more bitter. They leave the store. Rebecca interviews that there is more tension, but that they're in a competition, and that she's there for her own self.

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America's Next Top Model

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