America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Takes A Pill

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I'm Sari...So Sari

Next, Nik walks into PPQ wearing the bright striped shirt/dress that she picked up at Spitalfield's. One of the PPQ folks asked if she made it, and she says no, she picked it up at a flea market. She does wear some sort of short black skirt or biker shorts under it, so as to prevent any unnecessary hooch sightings or accusations of whorishness. She explains that she was going for a mod look. PPQ rep Amy Molyneau says her first impression of Nik was that her dress was quite bold. I can't determine whether "quite bold" means "striking" or "ugly as hell." It might be a bit of both, actually. Nik can't figure it out either.

Next, Bre goes to meet Ashley Isham, who barely weighs more than Ashley Olson. Dude is seriously skinny, with the world's most oddly-shaped head. He sits down with Bre and asks for her portfolio. She says that she's so sorry, but that she left it in the car. She also is not wearing anything remotely Bollywood. Ashley interviews that he was shocked that Bre would come to a go-see without her portfolio. Oh, Odd Head, I have a tale of granola to tell you. He says that Bre has an amazing face, but needs more self-confidence. Nik passes Bre on her way to Ashley Isham, and Bre says she's failing miserably at modeling. First being a decent human being, now modeling. What is even left for her to fail at?

Nicole next goes to Ben Sherman, which is kind of like feeding a kitten to the wolves. Sarah Feeney asks if Nicole was going for the preppy look, and then says she's doing kind of avant-garde fashion. Nicole interviews that she was not feeling Sarah Feeney's vibe, and doesn't feel like Sarah Feeney was feeling her either. That is exactly what Boo Boo Kitty would have said. After Nicole leaves, Sarah nasally mumbles and writes, "Not at all preppy. Not by any country's interpretation of preppy." She's like Janice Dickinson, but without the heart. Chew on that one for a while.

Next, Bre goes to Robert Cary-Williams, punk designer and maybe-member of The Village People. Bre starts to do her horsey "signature walk," and RCW tells her to stop, because we've been seeing that all over the bloody place. She re-walks and he says, "perfect," and "excellent," and I am sad because I wanted her to fail again. Damn Bre for not being bad at everything!

Next, Nik goes to Ashley Isham, just so his weird head can freak us out once more. She looks very Bollywood, and Ashley says that the way she put her colors together was fantastic. Nicole says that even though she isn't a punk person, she was feeling the dress at Robert Cary-Williams, and that he really liked her walk. She is pleased. Jayla says that she really needs to step it up, or she could be going home. From your lips to Tyra's ears, my friend. Ashley Isham likes the way Jayla put things together, and asks if she has a pair of shoes to go with the look. She says that the ones she is wearing are the only ones she brought. Ashley can't believe that Jayla, as a professional model, wouldn't bring her own high heels. Take it easy on the "professional model" bit, sir. They might start getting ideas. Jayla's walk is kind of horrendous. Ashley says that she's too stiff and needs to work on the walk. He says to his assistant, "It's a bit of shame. Pretty girl but not right for us." I love that the captioners translated "bit of shame" exactly as he said it.

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America's Next Top Model

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