America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Takes Credit

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The Girl Who Neglected To Be Jolly

Cathy and Claudia tell the girls why their outfits suck. Diana's top is like a potato sack, so she's told to throw it away. Claudia tells Natasha that she has a nice thin frame, but that the skinny top and bottom together are just too much. Natasha says, "But I'll make it work." Jael kind of shakes her head. Natasha continues: she says that all the girls said that they like their outfits because, as a model, you should always like the clothing that the client puts on you. She gives this huge smile, and Cathy and Claudia don't know what the fuck to do with her, so they just stare at her blankly. Renee interviews that Natasha frustrates her, because if somebody's trying to give you a lesson, you should just listen and soak it all in. I do think the judges encourage Natasha too much with the jawing. Purrrrrrr. Claudia has girls swap certain items with each other to make their outfits better. This involves them undressing right in front of our eyes! Good times. Dionne says that she learned today that simple is all you need. She's in luck, because there is PLENTY of simple in the house.

Back at home, Renee sits on Whitney's bed and asks if she honestly thinks that there's ever going to be a plus-sized model on the cover of Vogue. You know, I wish that Renee had said that to Aretha Franklin, because Aretha would have picked her up, snapped her in half, tossed the torso out of the window, and used her legs as a back scratcher. Jael, from her own bed, gives a look that says what we're all thinking: "Shut up, Renee." Renee says that, even though she wants it to happen, she doesn't think it ever will. Whitney interviews that Renee says a lot of things that she doesn't understand, and that she can be on the cover of Vogue wearing a size 8-10 and look darn good doing it. It is so sad that getting a size 8 woman on the cover of a magazine seems like an insurmountable feat. Whitney tells Renee that she will show her that she's a model. Renee says, "Waitin' to see it," and Whitney tells her to shut the heck up and get out of her face. Awesome. I am going to start saying that to people all the time.

A little while later, Whitney tells Diana what happened, and Diana is all Jersey and incensed about it. Whitney says that Renee was trying to say that they weren't really models. Diana interviews, "Renee...she's, like, the bitch. You just...don't want to listen to her anymore." Why would you listen to her in the first place? She's obviously full of crap all the time. Back in the room, Diana says, "I'm mad. Ho ho ho ho, my God." And Diana, here's a tip: plus-sized girls shouldn't invoke Santa Claus to express their outrage. Commercials.

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America's Next Top Model

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