America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Takes Credit

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The Girl Who Neglected To Be Jolly

Next is Brittany, who is one half of an outdoorsy couple. She looks like a big ol' redneck. Her partner, who is a big black drag queen, lays his head in her lap, which cracks up everyone on set. It even is a struggle for Brittany not to laugh. Jay says that not only did Brittany have great shots, but the whole thing was entertaining as hell. Or, as Dionne would say, "entertaining as hay-ell."

Renee is next as a glam rocker. Jay tells her to clench her jaw to get a more masculine look. She has Jaslene's chin dimple drawn on her for extra masculine effect. Jay likes Renee's energy, attitude, and variety.

Jael is next as part of the "bohemian couple." Diana laughs that she looks like a crackhead. And seriously...I don't even know how to describe how Jael looks. Maybe like a French crackhead. Who likes to combine houndstooth with Navajo prints. It's weird, man. Jael tells us that she allowed her soul to be captured in a photograph, and is actually turning herself inside out. I don't know if she's in crackpot character, or if that's just her normal crackpot self speaking. The line, it is fine.

Next is Dionne, who is part of the "power couple." Dionne looks kind of like a young, sleek Al Sharpton. Then again, I think everybody looks like Al Sharpton. Jay wants Dionne to have more interaction with her drag queen. He asks where she's getting her inspiration from, and she says she's thinking of ads with male models in business suits, and how they just look sort of stoic and like they're just standing there. Jay doesn't want her to think that she can do nothing on this shoot. He interviews that Dionne needs to learn how to step up her game and become a top model.

Sarah, the challenge winner, is the "rocker." She looks like Oliver. I'm sorry, but the styling for some of the girls is really terrible. Her initial round of shots is too pose-y, and she gets a lot of criticism from Jay. As her prize, she gets to go look at her photos, and Jay tells her what's wrong with her poses. Meanwhile, Renee whispers to Diana (who, because this show is intent on spreading sexual confusion throughout the world, is wearing a drawn-on beard and tiny t-shirt that reveals her plentiful cleavage) that Sarah didn't pick out her outfit at the challenge at all. Renee says that if she were Dionne, she would be pissed as hell. And Dionne, in fact, is pissed as hay-ell. Sarah does a lot better the second time around, and Jay tells her that the challenge victory might have saved her in the competition. She does a dorky happy dance.

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America's Next Top Model

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