America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Takes Credit

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The Girl Who Neglected To Be Jolly

Whitney is next as part of the "collegiate couple." In some unquantifiable way, she looks like the Monopoly guy. Whitney wants to prove to Renee -- and, I'm sure, to all the haters out there -- that she, and anyone over 120 pounds, is good enough to be in the competition. Jay says that when Whitney steps on set, she overanalyzes, and is guarded and awkward. He tells her that she has a great face and body, but that he wishes he could throw somebody else in there to use it.

Next there is Natasha. Her role is part of a "hip-hop couple," and so she does what any thinking person would do: goes to the black folk. She heads to Dionne and Whitney for advice on how to act, and they tell her to say "What it do, shorty?" She does, to hilarious effect. Maybe this is what hip-hop is doing to white people in general -- making us unknowingly sound ridiculous, and then laughing at us in front of our faces. Dionne says that Natasha is bringing her A-game, and that she practiced her character from the time they were in hair and makeup until she got on set. She also puts some foil on her teeth to make a grille. The makeup people love it. When Natasha goes to shoot, Jay says that he doesn't have anything to say to her because she scares him. And then, she is awesome. Everyone is dying because she's so hilarious. She says that it was great to have all the positive energy around her, and that she loves having an audience. Jay interviews that Natasha knows how to impress people. What it do, shorty. What it do, indeed. Sarah tells us that Natasha has blossomed in the competition. Natasha interviews that she loves modeling, because you can play characters that you'd never be in your real life. Like a mail-order bride! Oh, wait.

In sharp contrast to Natasha's awesomeness is Diana, who is part of a "red-carpet couple." Jay tells her that the drag queen is outshining her. It's true. Renee pipes up to say that she thinks that Whitney and Diana feel pressure from looking around at the thinner girls, and that they think they have to step it up, and that the pressure is actually bringing them down. Jay tells Diana that he knows she's trying, but that it looks like she's bored. He asks her why she wants to be America's Next Top Model, and she quite ill-advisedly answers, "Just 'cause." Oh, dear. Jay is not about to let "just 'cause" fly. He wishes that Diana knew why she wants to be there. He says that she has the body and looks for modeling, but he doesn't know if she has the passion. I actually don't know if she has the command of language. She's just not the most articulate. See, "Ho ho ho ho, my God!" above. Whitney gives a crying Diana a pep talk, telling her to be strong and get it together, saying that they face enough obstacles as it is. But they get to eat actual food, which I think would be a plus. Diana worries that this is going to get her sent home, and her tears roll us away to commercials on a yacht piloted by Jaslene.

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America's Next Top Model

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