America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Talks Behind Everyone's Back

Episode Report Card
Potes: B- | Grade It Now!
An Episode Without A Heroine

Back at home, Kim and Nicole sit in the confessional. Kim says that she and Nicole are the only sane ones. She adds that Nik is sane, but a little boring. She says that Lisa is an alcoholic, and Nicole chimes in that Lisa is not only an alcoholic, but also insane. For her grand finale, Kim calls Jayla an ugly, annoying, bad joke-deliverer. Scathing! Nicole adds, "But a wee bit sane." Kim says that Jayla is almost too sane, but not. "Who else can we talk about?" asks Kim.

Kim runs down the stairs and asks Nicole if she wants to be harmonica-ed to sleep. That is not a euphemism. Kim interviews that you need a support system in the house, and to have at least one person you feel close to. After losing Kyle, Coryn, and Sarah, Kim's forced to scrape the bottom of the barrel and be friends with Nicole. She plays a song for Nicole about her almost-elimination. It is something of a sad dirge. Then, she whispers, she is going to play a song about Jayla's potential elimination. It is a joyful jig. The whole thing is pretty funny, actually, and I guess if the soundtrack to life were played on a harmonica, there would be no need for Prozac. Bre says that Kim speaks negatively about everybody, and that Bre feels like she's walking on eggshells because Kim probably speaks ill about her when she leaves the room too. It is true that hearing someone talk shit about others all the time gets really tiring.

On the smokers' lanai, Bre asks Jayla if she talks about Bre behind her back. Jayla says that she has never talked about Bre. Bre says that's good, because she has never talked about Jayla behind her back. And I thiiiiink that both of them are telling the truth. But, says Bre, she can't say the same thing about some of their fellow housemates. Jayla says that she's heard people talking about her, and that it's been led by Kim. Other people join in because they think it's funny. And probably, since it's about Jayla, it is. Bre says, "That bitch ain't right." She waves a finger around and reiterates, "She ain't right." Some head-bobbling ensues. "I have a problem with her." Bre then gives a silent finger wave, which I believe is sign language for "It's on." It's really great to see how they don't talk about people behind their backs at all, isn't it? Commercials.

When we return, Nik and Bre, both in towels, sit in the phone room. Nik rings her friend Visa, presumably because her friends Passport and Mastercard were unavailable. Nik says to Visa that she has a story to tell her, and Bre tells her to be quiet, because Kim is near the phone room. Visa asks if Nik is opening up, and Nik says, "Naaaah." Just then, Kim enters and says, "Let me talk to her." That's kind of weird. We see a hand and a helpful caption and arrow points to "Kim grabbing phone." Visa says, "Shequeshah?" which I find to be rather strange. Kim says that it's not, in fact, Shequeshah, but rather "the gayest person in the house." Visa says incredulously, "Are you SERIOUS?" What the hell is going on? Is Nik gay? Oooh, remember this? Hmmm. Kim says that Nik is the most careful person in the world, and that it's almost a joke how quiet she is. Nik interviews that Kim said a lot of hurtful things about her and doesn't respect her because she's "not as open" as Kim is, and "not real" or "trying to hide a situation," which Nik says she's not. It totally sounds like Nik is a big closeted lez, doesn't it? Weird! And way to go, subversive editors! And way to go me! I have totally cracked the code! Mwah ha ha ha. Nik says that was the last straw. She hangs up the phone, and Kim goes laughing in to see Nicole.

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America's Next Top Model




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