America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Walks On Water

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Naima Make You Scream-a

And now, it's time for the final walk. Naima says, "I'm gonna walk down the runway, and look Kahlen dead in her eyes, and say, 'Look, bitch, this is what I have to offer.'" I love the competitive streak! They walk at the same time in yet another skimpy swimsuit. Naima is again full of fierceness, and Kahlen is full of dull model-dom. The girls walk out in the finale, and Naima waves her arms around a lot. In an interview, Kahlen says tearily that she's so full of emotion during the final walk that she can't even hold the beat when she's clapping. Oh, honey, no, that's just because you're a big whitey. The audience gives a standing ovation and Kahlen and Naima stand under falling water and dance around.

Kahlen and Naima emerge backstage, totally soaked, and Jay applauds them both. Tyra comes back and hugs them. She dances like they did in the end, and her breasts threaten to give concussions to all who stand nearby. Tyra is proud, and not only of her prodigious bosom. Kahlen gives Naima a big hug and kiss on the cheek. Naima says, "Friends again." At home, Kahlen toasts, "To our first fashion show. May it always be in our memories." She is just so cheesy sometimes. She interviews with a smile that she thinks she rocked throughout the competition. That's nice to see. Naima interviews that Kahlen has a lot of natural ability that Naima doesn't have, but that Naima thought she herself was the star of the fashion show. Tyra Mail comes, announcing the final elimination. Exciting!

The girls walk in wearing the evening gowns they had in the fashion show. And this is where I actually (ding!) started to believe that Naima was going to win, because her dress is so very superior. It is spaghetti-strapped feminine loveliness, as opposed to Kahlen's weird sleeveless turtlenecked getup that makes her look like she's wearing a misplaced lobster bib. Both have their hair slicked back, and Kahlen's looks kind of terrible. Tyra -- who is wearing leather dominatrix gear -- tells them that tonight they will decide who is America's Next Top Model. She says that the girls have come a long way -- one from Detroit, one from Oklahoma. Janice is making all sorts of exaggerated smiling faces, which I think is to prompt the girls to be happy and full of personality. Or, drugs. Tyra says that it's time for the girls to use the knowledge they've learned to graduate into the real world...as America's Next Top Model. At this, Naima puts her hand on her heart in sort of a dramatic pageant-type way. Kahlen kind of looks to the side with her eyes as her smile stiffens, like, "Bitch what you doing?"

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America's Next Top Model

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