America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Walks On Water

Episode Report Card
Potes: B | Grade It Now!
Naima Make You Scream-a

The girls walk to a colorful building, where they meet Mr. Jay, who is dressed in peach tones that make him look as orange as a safety cone. Seriously, when will that man learn? He asks the girls how they are doing, and Naima says, "Butterflies" and rubs her tummy. Jay says that they've created a most exciting fashion show, featuring three Cape Town designers: Poison Ivy, Gavin Rajah, and Ruby. There will be a full audience, and it will be a big event, and Kahlen and Naima are supposed to be the stars. He takes them to the runway they have created for the show. Naima says that she was expecting a normal, everyday, straight runway. She should have learned by now that straightness is a rare commodity on this show. Jay takes them to a fountain, and the girls are understandably confused, because they have not yet seen the title of this episode. They then look in the fountain closer and see the runway submerged a few inches below the surface. Jay tells them that they are walking on water. Shock! Awe! Ms. J. comes walking out in rubber boots to show them how it's done. He says, "You model tramps need to stomp and make this water do the water dance!" It would be much more entertaining if they had to do the Riverdance. Jay says that they are walking on water like divas, and Ms. J. says televangelically, "Walk like Jesus!" Jay says he doesn't know if Jesus had the same kind of hip action. At this, Top Model's tenuous grasp on the red states is suddenly lost. Ms. J. said that Jesus did have the hip action, but it was just under the robe. He asks if the girls can swim. Kahlen interviews that she's nervous that she's going to be the one who falls. Naima says that she's a little scared about the water aspect, but is also excited as all hell about the show.

The girls get made up backstage. Kahlen says that she's nervous because she's never been in a fashion show, and the only runway experience she has is from when she's walking up and down the hallway as her mom makes dinner. Kahlen looks great in all her makeup, though she continues to be not so stunning in person. Tyra enters and asks the girls how they are doing. At this my mom commented, "She looks like she had a rough night." And then, "God, she looks like she's going bald, is that a wig she has on?" I love my mom. Naima says that she has butterflies, and rubs her tummy again. Tyra says that she has never walked on a water-covered runway. She then advises the girls that when you do a swimsuit or lingerie show, you're supposed to take your clothes off immediately so that any lines you have on your skin fade. Modeling is one big coke-fueled naked party all the time, isn't it? Tyra tells the girls not to be nervous, and not to be distracted by the judges calling their names (i.e. Janice drunkenly falling onto the runway and calling her own name). Her final piece of advice to the girls: "Work it."

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America's Next Top Model




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