This leaves Darian and Yvonne in the bottom two. Two girls, one photo, etc. Darian is crying, though Yvonne remains stoic. Until Tyra tells her that she is stunning, that is. Tyra says that the public didn't like Yvonne's photo as much as she did, and neither did the other judges. That's why she's there. And then there's Darian. She's beautiful, but her lips are too pushy in photos. And then it is the moment of truth. Darian and Yvonne both have 16 points from the judges, and so their social media scores will determine who goes home. I'm sure that wasn't on purpose just to try and validate this process or anything. Numbers flip by on the screen like this is The Biggest Loser, and we see that Yvonne squeaks through by the tiniest of margins. She got a fan score of 4.81, while Darian got a fan score of 4.78. Three hundredths of a point! I'm sure there's a hanging chad somewhere to blame.

Tyra tells Darian that she has such a personality and effervescence, and really wants this opportunity. She knows that Darian wishes she could do it all over again. And then Tyra says, "Well guess what?" Darian falls to her knees, in an actual begging position, because clearly she thinks that Tyra is going to spare her given Maria's voluntary departure. But then Tyra proves who is the realest-ass bitch of all by saying that every girl who is eliminated this cycle will get a chance to come back. They'll compete in every photo shoot (likely so there wouldn't be spoilers about who was eliminated back when all of these were posted for online votes), and fans will vote for one person to come back. Darian is like, "...Okay." That was so mean! Though I guess if I had the opportunity to raise and then cruelly dash the hopes of wannabe models, I'd probably jump on it too. Darian is disappointed and devastated, but pretends to be excited about the chance to come back amidst all of the sadness of elimination. In the most lackluster way possible, she says that she knows she can come back and win this thing. That's the spirit?

Next week: Tyler Perry facilitates some sort of acting challenge, and Kristin tries really hard to get Destiny to hit her. That seems like it wouldn't be too hard to make happen, right?

Potes is a real-ass bitch among real-ass bitches. She can be tweeted @traciepotes or emailed at potesypotes@gmail.com.