America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Wants Out

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In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously: new judges, social media, etc. And super cute Jessie was sent home, some (me) may say unjustly.

We enter with the girls returning home to find Leila's best-of-week photo displayed as digital art, complete with some really crunk fonts representing the judges' comments. Leila is tearfully appreciative to all the fans out there who helped her achieve this great honor. She should really be thanking the judges, each of whom gave her a 10! Sorry, but the fans had nothing to do with this one. Democracy is 90 percent a sham when you look closely. Leila of course gets the key to the Tyra Suite, and invites Laura to join her there, because she thinks Laura is awesome. And then stupid Laura questions Leila's motivation for inviting her to share in the Suite. Who knew small town girls were so wily and suspicious? Leila is just being nice! Laura says she's not giving advice to anybody, since this is a competition. What advice would she even HAVE that we haven't already heard from Garrison Keillor? In any case, Leila says that being in the Tyra Suite is the best thing that's happened to her in her entire life. If you come into this competition with extremely low expectations, you will never be disappointed!

We then learn a little about Darian, which is always doom-infused foreshadowing this early in the episode. Darian answered an ad looking for models for New Orleans Fashion Week, was chosen, and says it was the best experience of her life. She looks gorgeous in the photos, I have to say. Every time I talk about Darian, I want to sing, "Daaaaaaaarian. Madame libraaaaaaaarian." (Meanwhile, have you EVER seen a more scintillating YouTube video? It was probably made by Victoria's mom.)

And then there is Tyra Mail! "Who's gonna make the cut? Fierce and love, Tyra." Everyone correctly surmises that makeovers are a-comin'. Victoria looks sullen, as she's already convinced that she's going to get some sort of a pixie cut that, according to her, won't work well with her hair type. Maria is also scared. She reminds us that she was an awkward and geeky kid, and that her parents encouraged her to focus on the academics. I'm not sure that there's a causal relationship there, but who knows. Maria is, in case you haven't heard, now at Harvard. She snits that she doesn't want her hair cut, and isn't going to let anyone cut her hair, and confessionalizes, "Sorry, Tyra. Good luck with that. A heh heh." You can tell by the looks on the other girls' faces that they think she is hella-annoying. Destiny goes so far as to say that she's obviously intelligent, but the way she's acting is almost an embarrassment to Harvard. We are reminded of her backtalk to the judges at the last panel, and how Kelly Cutrone was forced to snap at her in an even more snappy manner than usual. Allyssa tells us that Maria and her stank attitude should have been sent home, and we roll to the credits. In which, I may add, Tyra wears a neon yellow sleeveless mock turtleneck. She is not sporting her best looks this season, is all I'm saying.

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America's Next Top Model

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