America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Wants Out

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Make D'oh-ver

When we return, the girls arrive at Christophe Salon in Beverly Hills, where Kelly and Johnny await them. Johnny talks up Christophe, and then we meet him. He's so very leathery! In the most glamorous of ways, of course. There is an envelope for each girl, within which makeover details can be found. Kelly announces a twist for this season -- the girls get to decide whether or not they want a makeover. She gives them a major clue as to what their decision should be when she says, "You have to remember, this is Tyra's idea of what will make you beautiful." In other words, don't be a fool, fool. There is a twist to the twist, which is that the girls have to decide whether or not they want the makeover before learning what said makeover will entail.

Kelly and Johnny go down the line of girls, and we get enthusiastic yeses from Darian, Yvonne, Leila, Nastasia, Kristin, and Brittany. Then Johnny gets to Maria, who yells, "Hell no!" All Johnny can do is say, "Wow," and Nastasia wonders about the real merits of a Harvard education. Kiara, Destiny, Laura, and Allyssa all are game for makeovers, but then we get to Victoria. She starts to say that it might not really be who she is, and Kelly shushes her before demanding a simple yes or no. And if you can believe it, Victoria's final answer is no. To quote Allyssa, who is turning out to be a champ despite the fact that I thought she'd be the first eliminated, "I was like, this bitch is stupid. Because if anyone needs a makeover, it's her." I mean, she's not entirely wrong.

The girls then open their envelopes to discover their fates. Destiny will be getting long pieces in the front with a shaved back and camel highlights. They're going to put a CAMEL in her hair? Avant garde! She is not psyched. Darian will be getting a long, layered bob, and Laura is happy with her impending ice blonde hair and bleached brows. Kelly sends everyone on their way, telling Victoria and Maria that she'll be talking to them later. Well, that can't be good. Victoria is worried, despite the fact that she's following her mom's advice of trusting her gut instinct. I, personally, feel that Victoria should NEVER trust her gut instinct. In any case, she hopes that it doesn't affect her standing in the competition. Maria, however, could not give a shit. She interviews that if the girls were given the option, no one should be mad at them for not choosing the makeover. Oh, her, trying to use all that fancy Harvard logic!

Darian squeals a little while getting her braids cut off, but seems to take the whole thing in relative stride. She's ready for a fresh new self as she enters the fashion industry. Johnny clowns with her a little, and then Tyra shows up! Who could even take her advice seriously, with that scraggly wet labradoodle on her head? Tyra tells Darian that she was going to let her keep the braids, but then the ever-powerful "social media" didn't like it. It's not just Tyra deciding things, everybody. It's the omnipresent all-powerful non-being "social media." Someone will mention it every six seconds so you don't forget. Darian says that she's ready for a change, and in fact the end result is pretty good.

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America's Next Top Model

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