America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Wants To Step On The Pretty Flower

Episode Report Card
Potes: B+ | Grade It Now!
Déjà Vu's a Bitch

Tyra tells those of us living under a rock that Kim is openly gay, and stood out from the other girls. Coryn, Sarah and Kyle ask her if she is full-on lesbian, and she confirms that, indeed, she is full-on gay and then some. She interviews that her being gay adds a bit of positive tension to the house, and that some girls might think, "Huh! Could I be attracted to the little boy? I think I could!" Sarah offers to make out with Kim. That was, like, the first day in the house. Boonville really wasted no time.

Cassandra, Tyra tells us, stood out for her lack of emotion. We see her flossing. Er, emotionlessly. She walks by Kyle and flicks her toothbrush at her. Kyle is all like, "The hell?" Kyle interviews that Cassandra flicked her toothbrush at her, and she was like, "The hell?" Because, as with the regular episodes, we are dumb and need to hear a narrative of what we just saw, along with perhaps a flashback later in the episode, to fully understand what's going on. Cassandra tells Kyle that, "it seems like" "a person" would want to pick on Kyle because she's too cute. Kyle is puzzled, and Kim recognizes Cassandra for the freak she is. Cassandra says, "You know when you see a really pretty flower or something and you just want to, like, step on it." Kyle says, "You want to step on me and tear me apart?" The answer is obviously yes. Cassandra is also acting mildly retarded in this scene, for some reason. That girl was not right. I wish she had stayed a little longer. We then cut to Cassandra telling Lisa that she is kind of like a sociopath in her lack of emotion, only she's never killed anybody. The scrunch of her nose really does indicate an unspoken "yet." Lisa, for the first and only time, is speechless.

Tyra voices over that Ashley tried to stand out by flaunting her fashion knowledge. Ashley interviews that her mom owns a salon, and that her family is in the beauty industry. And I don't know that running a Fantastic Sam's franchise really qualifies, but then again, I'm not in the beauty industry. She adds that she was a buyer for a boutique, and knows fashion and hair. She tells a few of the other girls in a lecturing voice that she thinks they'll leave Kim the way she is, but perhaps dye her hair darker. She adds that Kim's eyes would look phenomenal if she had fire-red hair. And...that's exactly what they did. Maybe she does know her stuff after all. She then says that they'll give Nicole a relaxer, which is totally wrong. Scrap my last theory. She also says that she'll be going dark, which is obviously wrong, since her ass was out of there faster than you could say "Super Cuts." Ashley says that, growing up in a salon, she had to change her hair every single month. Nicole interviews that Ashley is fake and that Nicole can't stand her, and that everyone sees through her.

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America's Next Top Model




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