America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Wants To Step On The Pretty Flower

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Déjà Vu's a Bitch

Jayla interviews that she looked over at Kim and "went to say two things at once" and it came out as, "Oh, that doesn't look that bad." Man, she is the worst. Parents, see for yourselves the dangers of home-schooling. Kim says that Jayla should shut up, and that there's no reason to put anyone down right now. Taking her own advice, she says to Ebony (about Jayla, we are to assume), "Forget a makeover, she should get some plastic surgery." Oooh, you do not mess with the little boy, J.W. Jayla interviews that she thinks some of the girls are getting the wrong sense of her sense of humor and how she acts. Again, it takes a really self-deluded person to fall back on the "It's your interpretation" argument.

Meanwhile, Jay tells the photographer that Cassandra's been crying for twelve hours. Cassandra goes on about being something she's not. Wah, wah, wah. Jay tells her that she looks cleaner, edgier, and more modern. She goes on about the fact that she's feminine. I take back what I said about wanting her to stay longer. Tyra voices over that Cassandra's complaining rubbed some girls the wrong way. A little pack of the contestants congregates. Kyle interviews that Cassandra has been crying all day long, and that she just needs to get over it. Cassandra whines on the phone to her boyfriend. She says that he will hate her hair, because she hates her hair. Kim mimics Cassandra to the others. Cassandra tells her boyfriend that she complained a lot, and so she needs to kick some butt at the next photo shoot.

And speaking of, we jump to the next shoot, which was that English countryside one that was actually kind of cool. The girls pair up and have to wear the same outfit and pose with horses. Jay yells that Ebony needs energy, and says that he's getting "dead carcass on a fence" from her. I should add that she is posing in front of a fence. Ebony interviews that she might be trying too hard. She hopes that it didn't go too badly, but adds that, in all honesty, it might have actually been really bad. More girls pose. Lisa tries to pet a horse on the nose, and it recoils and snorts. She and Ebony discuss the fact that the horse was all, "Get away from me, Wrinkles." Ebony says that she wants to ride a horse. Lisa says that she needs to take her Claritin first.

Later that night, Jayla shows off her six-inch platform heels. Seriously, she's such a stupid ho. Bre tries them on and says, "Those are hooker shoes for real." Jayla interviews that she's the one person in the house who doesn't have "one set best friend," and says that she tries to be cool with everybody. Uh...yeah. Bre tries to walk in the shoes and says that she could never be a stripper, and that when you get up on that pole, you must be out of your damn mind. That was as close to a PSA as Top Model gets when Tyra's not around. Though, come to think of it, I guess Lisa is a little bit of a living PSA.

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America's Next Top Model

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