America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Wins It All

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Viva La Diva!

More happiness from Eva. She says that she never expected, as the "little tomboy from L.A.," to be a Cover Girl. She says she was not beautiful and never cute in school (though pictures from her youth show her to be quite adorable), and was rife with insecurity. She cries and manages to choke out, in a very Miss American fashion, "And I get to represent [gasp! sob!] all those little girls that feel the way I feel!" And that was either very genuine or incredibly fake, but it's to her credit that I'm not entirely sure which. Janice jumps on Eva, throws her legs around her, and starts to hump her. She then grasps Eva's hands and jumps up and down, and I worry that it's all a nefarious attempt to whack Eva hard enough with those silicon jugs hanging off of her chest that Eva incurs permanent brain damage and Yaya, as runner-up, must take over her duties as America's Next Top Model. Tyra voices over, "Eva has vitality. She has sass and spunk that make her relatable to young girls everywhere. Eva is a true cover girl." Eva says, "Tyra Banks just told me that I'm about to be a star!" Yeah, don't believe everything you hear from Tyra, little one. She says, "Watch out world, here comes Eva!" That'll do, Pigford. That'll do.

And with that, lovely readers, I must bid you adieu. Thank you so much for reading week after week and making my first recapping experience an enjoyable one. Until Cycle 4 rolls around, I hope that you will all continue to pour beer on one another's weaves, shove it in those tall bitches' face, and spit out your umeboshi on a regular basis. Keep the memories alive, everyone, and I hope I'll see you again soon.

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America's Next Top Model

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