When we return, Whitney, twenty-one, from Palm Beach, Florida, enters the room squealing, with her tube top sliding down like that infamous woman on The Price Is Right. Tyra has to tell her to pull it up the whole time she's in there. Whitney goes to Dartmouth, and talks about being a black freshman in the predominantly white school. Tyra says that sounds like the fashion industry. Yeah, going to Dartmouth is just like being in the fashion industry, except with inverse IQs. Whitney says that she knows she's going to hear that she's a plus-sized model, and that plus-sized models can't handle high fashion, but that needs to be revamped, and she's going to revamp it. Oh, isn't everyone over 115 pounds. Whitney doesn't think she's fat. She thinks she's curvaceous and gorgeous just the way she is. She really seems to mean that, too. Go, Whitney! No, I mean it. Go. You're too smart to be on this show.

Not at all too smart to be on this show is Jael, who is bawling because it's so amazing to see Tyra's face. Jael looks like a fifty-year-old hooker who just crawled out of the methadone clinic. That sounds totally mean, but I don't know how to put it more succinctly. Jael continues to cry, and says that she doesn't really know why she was chosen. Let me clarify. It's because you're CRAZY. Jael tells the panel that her mother is African-American and her father is German and Jewish. Tyra is stunned that Jael is half-black, as am I. She's a pasty-looking lady. Jael interviews that people are so focused on differences that we don't see the commonalities in each other. She considers herself American.

Next we have Diana, twenty-one, from Garfield, New Jersey; she's the other plus-sized girl. As she walks in, Tyra says that her proportions are nice. It's Diana's goal to be the first plus-sized girl to win America's Next Top Model. And given that the Chinese calendar has denoted this the Year of Kissing Tyra's Fat Ass, I think she might do it. Diana used to be skinny, and when she started putting on weight, her dad would say really mean things to her, like if she kept eating she wouldn't fit through the door. And for all you parents out there...don't do that. Seriously. But Diana finally told him that he can't do that to her, and that she's beautiful, no matter what they say. Words won't bring her down. Diana tells Tyra that she doesn't want to be stick skinny, and that she loves her body. Diana predicts that because she's plus-sized, the other girls won't see her as competition. This is fine with her, because she'd like to sneak under the radar. Diana is pretty, but her hair is distractingly greasy.