Next is the gay marriage shoot. Whitney says that she thought it was interesting, because Samantha is the little southern belle from Alabama. And thus, most likely, hates the gays. Indeed, Samantha says that it was tough, because she has a boyfriend, and that it was hard to act like she was in love with another girl. Oh, get over it. Nigel tells both of them to turn their bodies more toward the camera. Jay tells the girls that they can be happy, because lesbians aren't serious ALL the time. Wait, you mean some lesbians might even have a sense of humor? I'll believe that when I see it! Whitney says that she goes to Dartmouth, and that playing college basketball definitely helped her with the lesbian scene. I'm surprised that they're not wearing flannel wedding gowns with cat ring bearers, to be honest with you.
Felicia is next as a straight bride, and tries out her British accent on Nigel. After finding out that she's actually from Houston, he says that it wasn't bad. Felicia has to pose next to a mannequin in a groom's tux. Nigel says that she needs to step it up, and that she could have played off of the mannequin more.
Vegan Dionne is next. She says that being a vegan means that you can only eat tomatoes, lettuce, carrots -- basically anything that grows out of the ground, like jalapeño peppers. You know, sometimes I get so down about the state of our political leaders these days. And then I watch this show and realize that it could all be so much worse. A vegetable-clad Dionne sits amidst ever more vegetables. Nigel thinks that she could have taken it up a notch.
Cassandra is next, on a table full of meat. Hams, sausages, Big Macs, you name it. She grabs a burger, and Jay tells her that tearing apart a chicken would be more editorial. Keep this in mind, you aspiring models out there! Jay says that all of the girls fell flat today, but that he knows that this is their first shoot, and that they put forth their best effort and tried hard.
Jay meets with the girls and tells them all gently that they need to step it up. He sends them downstairs, where there's a surprise waiting for them: their giant, pimped out, gas-guzzling Hummer limo. There is Tyra Mail inside, and I must note that Tyra Mail has a new look this year! Rather than being typed out on a plain index card, we have handwriting on...an 8x10 photo of Tyra. She gets more humble by the minute, you know? The Tyra Mail reads: "The past is NEW AGAIN. Welcome to the fashion house of history!" I wish it were the fashion house of wax. That would be creepy and cool, and it would smell good if the house caught on fire. Not that I know where it is or plan on being in the Los Angeles area or even have access to gasoline and matches. There's a key with the Tyra Mail, and the girls are all excited about going to the house. Not just the house, but the Fashion House of History!!!!!!!!!!