Next is a hooker. Seriously, this girl has on a yellow long-sleeved shirt with a shortie nightgown over it over bright blue leggings and with bright red ankle boots. Tyra and the Jays are all like, "WTF?" It's Cassandra, twenty-four, from Seattle. Her face is actually kind of pretty amidst all that craziness. The panel asks what's up with her hair, and Cassandra says that she had a wig sewn on her head. You can do that? Even Tyra, who I imagine knows all about wigs, is stunned. She asks why Cassandra would have a wig sewn on, which seems like a reasonable question, and Cassandra says that it's because she wants to flip her hair and be fierce. She tells us that she was made fun of all her life, and that people used to throw basketballs at her head. Ah, that explains it. She does have a good body.
Next is Heather, eighteen, from Deer Park, Texas, the boot camp instructor's daughter we've already met. She says that she can deal with someone being in her face and criticizing her, because that's what her dad did. That's totally healthy. Tyra has her give the Jays a little bit of real boot camp yelling. Jay Manuel gets down and does some pushups, but Miss J. refuses. His poor little arms would snap in twain, I bet. Heather is all about taking criticism and making it into something positive.
Next we have Brittany, twenty-one, from Savannah. Tyra asks what her biggest insecurity is, and Brittany says that she has an issue with volume control. She talks loud, all the time. She demonstrates, and Tyra asks if she's ever had her hearing checked out, because that might be part of it. Brittany unironically says, "Pardon?" The judges crack up. Brittany is a bartender, and says that her job is to be everyone's best friend. She knows how to turn it on. Tyra thinks that she has a foreign look, and that she expresses herself very well.
And speaking of foreign, we have Natasha. She says that she feels herself American, because we are all from different places, but all want to live in this country. Tyra asks Natasha when she got married. Natasha was eighteen. And her husband? Forty. Yeah. Miss J. straight-up asks Natasha if she is a mail-order bride. She says that this is the man who changed her life completely. She interviews that, in Russia, there are no opportunities -- unless you want to become a gymnast or ice skater or tennis player, I guess -- and that she really struggled until her husband brought her to America. Now she gets to give blowjobs all day! This is truly the land of opportunity. Natasha, like all who have fled from Soviet Russia, loves sparkly things and Levi's and America. And I know it's not Soviet Russia anymore, but that's how I like to imagine it all in my head. She walks out of the room to change into her swimsuit, and Miss J. says he wonders how many stamps it took to get her here. Jay Manuel thinks that she's gorgeous and looks a lot better in person than she does in her pictures. She struts into the room in her swimsuit. Natasha tells us that this is a model competition, and that she has a much better look than anyone there. And hey, did anyone else have someone pay $19.99 in shipping to get them home? I don't think so. Natasha is really pretty, but maybe short.