America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Won't Stop Talking

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The Girl Who Is Just Kind Of Dumb

When we return, Tyra and the Jays prepare to whittle down the twenty finalists to the thirteen girls who are "still in the running towards becoming America's Next Top Model." The Jays have favorites but don't want to mention them, since any time they do, those girls disappear. Awww, I bet Tyra gets jealous, especially if the girls are similarly dragulicious. Jay thinks that Brittany has potential. She looks like Howard the Duck! Both of the Jays think that Cassandra looks like a model, even though she has to have a weave sewn into her head. Yay! I hope this means she makes it and we get more impressions. Ms. J. loves Natasha's look but wishes she were a bit taller. Tyra thinks that Diana is a perfect example of a plus-sized model, but Jay wonders if she has what it takes to make it through the competition. Everyone loves how much Whitney loves herself. Tyra says that if Whitney loves herself, that means Tyra can love herself too. Because what Tyra totally lacks is love for herself. (And actually I think she's speaking from the point of view of a viewer, but still.) Jay thinks that Whitney will serve it up over Diana. Jay loves that Dionne has diarrhea of the mouth, because you don't have to hear a photograph. Think about us at home for once, you asshole! Ms. J. likes Bethany's face, but Jay thinks that she has no idea how to pose for a photographer. Jay likes Felicia and sees a slight resemblance to Tyra. Ms. J. thinks she looks like she's got something up her sleeve. Heather would make a good commercial model. Jay thinks that Jael has the potential to walk into a room and command it. Ms. J. thinks she looks like she just got out of "ja-il." Kathleen's pose gets raves. Melissa of the repossessed weave has a tough exterior, according to Tyra, which she thinks is for protection. I'm sure they'll pick her so that Tyra can psychoanalyze her. Tyra likes how Renee has awareness of her body in her pose, but Jay thinks it's a little much and asks Tyra how often she poses like that at a party. This of course leads to some candids of Tyra and Jay, supposedly at a party, posing behind a plant. Ms. J. likes how Samantha is a little devilish, and Tyra thinks her photo is a bit reminiscent of early Janice Dickinson. They then make fun of Janice for her ever-escalating self-proclaimed number of covers. The Jays LOVE Sarah. Jay thinks that she's the only girl who looked like a model at a party getting a snapshot taken. Ms. J. and Tyra think that Jaslene was holding back in her interview, perhaps too much. Well, throw her in the "to be psychoanalyzed" pile along with Melissa.

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America's Next Top Model

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