America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Won't Stop Talking

Episode Report Card
Potes: B+ | 1 USERS: A+
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The Girl Who Is Just Kind Of Dumb

Jay says that they have the perfect photographer for this shoot -- someone who knows not only how to make a statement, but also an entrance. I thought for sure that it was going to be Janice, but it's just Nigel. Boo. Kathleen interviews that she thinks every model wants to date Nigel Barker, "because he's so tall." Oh, man.

The girls get their hair and makeup done, and Kathleen asks her hair person how you would do anti-fur. Do you, she asks, just look at the fur like it's stank and you hate fur? I mean, I guess that's one approach. Renee whips out a photo of her son, who looks pretty cute. She tearfully interviews that she has a lot more at stake than the other girls do. Renee is excited to do this for her family, and says that she has to win this. And I'm sorry, but if your plan to support your family is to win a reality show, then you have problems. For the love of God, go to college! Get a job! "Becoming America's Next Top Model" is not appropriate goal setting. Meanwhile, Jael is sick with a cold. She mentions something about a fever. She says that she hopes it doesn't affect the shoot. And seriously, I'd imagine that she has enough dried boogers on her face at any given time that you wouldn't even really notice that she's sick.

Pro-fur Brittany is up first, and has to pose like she's in the front row of a fashion show. She says that she doesn't really have a problem with fur, but is a little freaked out by the fox head on her shoulder. Eeesh. Nigel says that Brittany managed to have an air of slight arrogance, which is exactly what he wanted.

Kathleen is next, with the anti-fur shoot. She says that she actually likes fur, because it makes you look hot. Ah, maybe this explains the strong attraction I feel towards Pekingese dogs. Kathleen has some trouble understanding what she should be doing. Nigel tries to give her some tips, and then calls Jay over for help. Kathleen is still not getting it. Nigel tells her that he wants her to be proactive in the shot, and she asks what that means. At least she wasn't like, "You want me to look like I'm treating pimples via a convenient three-step process? For only $39.95? Like Jessica Simpson did?" Nigel notes that Kathleen has some comprehension issues, and didn't seem to understand that "anti-fur" is a political viewpoint. Kathleen says that she had some trouble finding the emotion, but that she thinks she got it at the end.

Next up is Jaslene, who is all about the death penalty. She has a club with a spiked medicine ball on it. That's how I think it should end for felons. Jaslene is doing it on behalf of all the Latinas out there. J. Lo will be pleased. She looks pretty great with the hair and makeup, I have to say. About 600 times better than she looks normally.

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America's Next Top Model

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