America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Won't Stop Talking

Episode Report Card
Potes: B+ | 1 USERS: A+
The Girl Who Is Just Kind Of Dumb

Ms. J. tells the girls that this is not merely a challenge. In fact, they'll be heading right outside the Goodwill doors for a runway fashion show! Yes, that's right! IN THE GOODWILL PARKING LOT! With an audience! Probably of Goodwill employees! And their not-yet-placed vocationally-challenged compatriots! I don't think you can get too much more high-fashion than that. They should just set up a runway alongside the unemployment line. There will be an auction after the fashion show, and the girl whose outfit receives the highest bid will win the challenge. And the proceeds from the auction will go directly to Goodwill. Don't you ever say that Top Model does nothing for the community.

The fashion show commences! Natasha is first, and is generally unremarkable. Phillip Bloch narrates. Ms. J. says that Kathleen is a straight-up Brooklyn hoochie with a twist, and that the twist is that she has a great personality. Renee has a boho chic look that is actually kind of cute. Brittany's outfit gets panned by Ms. J. Jaslene looks like she emerged straight out of the '80s, while Diana wears a really cute black cardigan. Sarah totally gets my vote with a pink trench coat and gold belt. It's great. Sarah ruins the moment by telling us that she's done fashion shows before and wasn't scared, and that she thinks she had a good walk. I think Jael looks like a total hooker, even though Ms. J. says that she made thrift-store shopping work. I guess ho style is in these days. Jael says that walking out in front of a bunch of people that she doesn't know made her feel empowered and beautiful. Well, good for her.

Jay, Phillip, and the girls reconvene after the show. Jay proudly says that they've raised $286.50. And you know that the producers were like, "Fine, we'll kick in $300," and actually had to pay someone $13.50 to wear one of these outfits. The unemployed vocationally challenged will do just about anything for $13.50. They also don't know that a bank won't really cash that giant cardboard check. Suckers! In any case, Jael wins. She feels that she did her best and deserved to be recognized. She signs the giant check. Renee brats that Jael only won because she's a thrift-store shopper, and that the challenge wasn't even about modeling. Renee, honey, look around. Renee says that the whole thing is not fair. Jael says that she is so excited that she won, but doesn't know how to portray that to the other girls. This is a competition, she says, but she doesn't know how to be competitive. You club someone's knee, is how you do it. Jael asks the other girls if they still love her, and they say of course they do. She says that she hoped so, but that she's "seen things on television." Ha! That was pretty awesome. And in fact, she'll be seeing something on television as she watches this, because Renee says that Jael tries to be everybody's best friend all the time, but that she shouldn't bother to play the nice person all the time because that's not real.

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America's Next Top Model




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