America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Wrecks The Car

Episode Report Card
Potes: B- | Grade It Now!
Get Outta My Dreams...

When we return, there is more Tyra Mail. "Are you going to snap when the pressure is on?" Yes, I am going to snap towels at Melrose's head.

The girls ride in their limo out into the desert or something, where there is a race track. Jaeda says that they walked to the race track, where they saw "the crazy guy." It is James St. James. He is wearing some sort of leather jumpsuit with buttons and bows and shoulder pads and a turban. He looks like Norma Desmond as played by a cockroach in the Cockroach Community Theater's Version of Sunset Boulevard. James St. James introduces himself as an author, bon vivant, and NASCAR enthusiast. Seriously, who describes themselves as a bon vivant? Or a NASCAR enthusiast? Amanda helpful tells us that James is really "out there." Well, he can stay there. He also talks just like Carol Channing, and I don't know if it's a legitimate speech impediment or an affectation. He is there to judge the girls for their challenge. He introduces them to Stanton Barrett, who is "the hunk muffin of racing." Stanton Barrett plays it cool, but you know all of his racing friends still refer to him as "the future Mrs. Stanton St. James."

Today the girls are going to shoot action shots. The premise of the shoot is that Stanton Barrett is the girls' boyfriend, and has told them that their career isn't important. They have to be angry with him, and leap and jump at him. They will also have a remote control that operates a camera, which means that they'll be their own photographer. It's kind of cool, if a bit overcomplicated. Each girl has ten minutes to get dressed. There is wardrobe and hair and makeup in the parking lot, and the girls have to strip down in front of everyone, which I'm sure Stanton Barrett brings up every time his friends tease him and buy him a turban with an "SSJ" monogram for his birthday.

Eugena is first. Her first photo is awesome. Overall, she seems to do a pretty good job. Then there's Melrose. Whatevs. Jaeda looks like she is actually going to take Stanton Barrett down. Amanda is wearing a perilously short skirt. Caridee says to Stanton, "This is your last race, bitch. Final lap." She goes after Stanton with the checkered flag. She looks insane. She tells Stanton that they'll have make-up sex later, and then unconvincingly says that she's just joking.

Anchal is next, and Melrose comments that she's too pretty for this shot. James tells her to bring her anger, passion, and drama. She's all timid about the whole thing. Just pretend that it's Melrose! Hit him hard! Anchal says that she's afraid she's going to hurt Stanton. Dude, Caridee practically impaled him. Then Anchal says that she's afraid of her boob falling out. James St. James says that he doesn't care about her boobs, which one could have safely guessed. The other girls have really had enough with her. She says that she's not an angry person, and Stanton Barrett then becomes the voice of reason, telling her that she has to be angry, because it's her career. He asks how bad she wants this. Melrose says that Anchal doesn't even show that she's trying, and it's frustrating.

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America's Next Top Model




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