America's Next Top Model
The Girl Whose Boyfriend Is Cheating On Her

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Lisa Needs Her Diaper Changed

Tyra tells the girls that there are definite frontrunners in the competition, but that there are also girls who have not progressed adequately. She first calls the name of someone who is progressing: Bre. She tells Bre that she looks like a model in her picture, but needs to break out of trying to be perfect, and that little girls want to look up to somebody who is comfortable being herself. Janice was comfortable being herself, which is why American Girl is planning on making a doll of her. Next, Tyra calls Kim, then Nik, and then Crazy Lisa, whom Tyra tells not to be so ugly.

This leaves us with Jayla and Nicole. Tyra tells them that they are beautiful girls who take beautiful pictures, but that they suck as spokesmodels. She says that they were both at the top of the pack, but now stand before her at the bottom. In modeling, Tyra says, you have to be fierce and on point, and also "READ-DEEE." FRED-DEE. She then says the fateful words: "But the judges were so disappointed in you that tonight both of you must pack your bags..."

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BECAUSE WE'RE ALL GOING TO LONDON! AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU! NOBODY'S GOING HOME!"

First of all, that bit made me flash back to scary screaming Tyra. Second, I am a little glad that Tyra got to live out her Oprah fantasy, even in this context. Third, there is confetti. And fourth (but not last in importance), Jayla and Nicole are too dumb to figure out what's going on for at least a good ninety seconds. I feel so gypped by this whole thing. I was ready to say au revoir to two bitches with glee, but alas, it was not to be. Tyra asks the girls if she freaked them out, and they say that indeed, she did. She says that her heart has never beat so hard at a judging. Oh, I don't know about that. Something about the double-elimination or fake double-elimination must induce some sort of post-traumatic stress flashback for Tyra, because she really gets a little weird. A tearful Nicole says that being almost eliminated has made her vow to stay out of the final two. Jayla says that being in the final two makes you reprioritize things. Kim says that all of the girls will have to step it up. Tyra screams along with the girls that they are going to London, and bumps butts with Nicole. The End.

Coming Up: Kim gets totally busted for talking about everyone behind their backs. Sweet!

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America's Next Top Model

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