First, we watch the final edit of the commercial they shot, which is very Matrix-y and everyone's excited. I take the time to Google and discover that Rollitos are, apparently, an actual product. With an ingenious fucking product-placement department.
April is first for her individual evaluation. Oh, there's Tasha Smith-Arqese, but she's only administering a test and doesn't get to vote. The test is on how well they take direction. Tasha Smith-Arqese gives her one spoken line -- "I've never wanted anything more than this, and if I don't get it, I'm going to die" -- which April has to use to make Tasha Smith-Arqese "want [her] sexually." Oy. With this crowd, don't expect much. And when you address the men, you might want the word "this" to modify "three bottles of bourbon, a blindfold, and the latest issue of Freshman" and see if they're taking it more seriously then.
Shandi is supposed to use the same line to make the panel laugh, and it doesn't work. April works the crowd with humor, and Sara, smelling blood in the water, resorts to guerilla tactics and runs onto the platform containing the judges' table, screaming her line. Everyone seems to enjoy it, but Janice recoils a bit, barely containing a shout of "Not too close or they'll know I'm made of pinecones!" I don't know what that means. She's just kind of pointy, is all.
"Convince me that you're funny! Just once!" Janice screams out to Yoanna, which causes her to turn to the panel and lift up her skirt. Everyone applauds. I'm singing the no-lives-on-Pac-Man music again because the game is over.
And now, to the photo shoot. Yoanna's photo is deemed everything from "fabulous" to "beautiful," but Nigel decries her uneven posture, which is pretty amazing find in a black and white photo that only features her face. Shandi's photo comes across as "bland," and Janice makes Tyra do the thing where she goes from dead eyes to, like, not dead eyes. Everyone laughs, and I think I remember this being the only thing I heard about last season of this show. April is an all-around winnah. Mercedes is "so pretty," according to Janice. Camille sucks and has to work on her diction, and the photo comes across as an actor's headshot with no neck. Camille, of course, answers back. Sara has a "nice" look in her eye, but it's not enough. Catie looks like Peter Pan, and Nigel is all, "it looks very Peter Pan." Janice calls it "child prostitute," and I love her for doing my work for me.