And then, passionate kiss. April digs right in after the line, "I love you. I always have, I always will," and Shandi follows suit and so does Yoanna. Catie does a closed-mouth Spin The Bottle kiss and tells Tasha Smith-Arqese, "I can't! I have a boyfriend!" Tasha Smith-Arqese tells her that she needs to be committed to the scene. Camille uses the cue line, "Why'd you have to leave me, baby?" because if you're going to challenge the cheese factor of a soap-opera script, what better way to do it than by becoming the single-handed embodiment of fifty Luther Vandross songs? Her passionate kiss is a wan hug. Tasha Smith-Arqese sits stunned, throwing it off to Collier to comment: "You do something for David Mamet or somebody like that and you change their words, you won't have that job anymore, I promise you that." Camille smirks ever so slightly, because I think we're all in on the joke that the only thing this guy knows about David Mamet is that his last name is not pronounced "mam-May." Tasha Smith-Arqese picks up from that, calling Camille's performance "horrible," and telling us in a confessional, "Poor Camille. She's clueless." Well then, GET RID OF HER. Sigh. And yet another unrequited opinion from the ineffective open mouth of jazz scat-singer All Talk No Action Smith-Arqese.
And the ladies are invited back out onto the stage, while Collier and Tasha Smith-Arqese sit side by side in the empty audience in that total "I hope I get it god I hope I get it how many people does he need" kind of way. "Camille," she starts off. "You were not effective. And you refuse to be effective." Catie, she is told, gave up before it was over. April and Shandi were the best, according to Collier, and the winner is April. The prize, we learn for the third time, I think, is a shopping spree at a jewelry store, and she picks Catie to go with her. "We'll get her some bling," Catie confessionalizes, and white people are all, "It's our word now! For it has been spoken by she who is the whitest."
Camille is on the phone with her father, and Catie interrupts right away and takes the phone away, telling him that he should have cried in front of his daughter. The only words you hear coming through the other end of the phone is Camille's ambushed father responding, "Okay, then." "Show me some emotion!" Catie yells. Over in the kitchen, Camille tells Mercedes that she feels the criticism she received was "positive" ("You were terrible"), saying that, "If I wanted to do the acting thing, I'll do the acting thing." Cutting madly now until she's over by the stove, she vents, "I was good," and then holds up both of her middle fingers in a way I think should probably have been eliminated or otherwise not aired. But that's what's so great about America.