It's the clip show, everybody! In which we get to relive all the glory of the quantitatively distinctive College Cycle, as well as some never before seen footage of Victoria being a crazy person. And we all know there is never enough of that! Additionally, we'll be counting down the top ten freakouts of the season, with Kelly Cutrone's diva dip on Jez Smith being number one OBVIOUSLY.
Let's start at the beginning, for it's a very good place to start. Tyra and her ratty weave welcomed thirty college beauties to casting, of which thirteen were chosen to compete to become America's Next Top Model. Casting was amusing as always as the models showed their inner beauty, e.g. lip tattoos. What's her name from Harvard demonstrated the ability to recite the periodic table, which is right in line with her sparkling personality. And remember adorable Jessie? We see Rob tell her that she's so cute and innocent-looking, and Jessie responds, "There was a video that was made." That video was a sex tape, which is enough to get Kelly Cutrone's endorsement. Oh, and remember that weirdo who meowed like a cat all the time? Tyra spoke her language, with extra hissing.
While models were being interviewed individually in front of the panel, Kiara was teaching some of the other finalists dance moves backstage. Brittany proposed making their own rap music video, and it did not go so well. Kiara rhymed her own name with model, and model with model, and then model with bottle before admitting that she is not in fact a rapper. Kristin opened up about her high school past, which featured 80 percent of her classmates hating her (likely because she is SO STANK), and that prompted other models to do the same. Many of the models admitted to getting into fights, and Destiny told us all about how her mother kicked her out at 14, and she went into a group home at 16. Though others might assume that made her into a tough chick, she was really kind of a sensitive soul. I'm still mourning the fact that she wasn't a better model.
The final thirteen were chosen and moved into their model house. It didn't take the girls long to realize that Victoria was... special. And had a very special relationship. In never before seen footage, Victoria sat with the other girls and started crying at the mere mention of her mother. She then interviewed that she felt like she was living half a life, because her mother is part of her. Brittany and Kiara were both a little taken a back as Victoria told them that she wants to live with her mother FOREVER, eating tins of cat food and pretending they're pate, just like Big Edie and Little Edie. Victoria then confessionalized, "Seeing her and touching her face and just... I love her more than anything in the world." Touching her FACE? She told the other girls that she is very ambitious and has a lot of hopes for her life, and can do all that she wants to do with her mom by her side. Bottom line: Victoria loves her mom. LOVES her mom. LOVES HER MOM. Loves her mom in a manner that is illegal in 39 states.