In some bonus footage, we see the girls go swimming Jamaica-style -- with horses! -- because there hadn't been enough opportunity for an animal to kill Leila already. Kiara was not feeling it, because she doesn't like going deep into the ocean anyway. Leila planned to slide off of her horse's back and hang onto its tail, which is apparently something that's actually sanctioned in horse swimming. But once she got back there, the horse pooped on her! And then she was just swimming in watery poop for ages. Poor Leila should never go to the zoo. The girls next shot their Dream Come True ad, in which Nastasia's youthful exuberance was perhaps a little too pre-teen. The judges thought that her photo was too cutesy and looked like it was marketing perfume to ten year olds, and she and her glorious hair were eliminated.
And then we were down to our final three! The girls had a super high-pressure shoot with Nine West, which also happened to be Kelly's client. This led to freakout number one, obviously. But this was nothing compared to the freakout of Tyra's brain, which communicated these words to her lips during the final fashion show: "And now, their spirit-bodies must take to the runway to reclaim their mortal smizes." And oh, that final runway show. The fashions were crazy, and then Leila managed to fall... twice. So, she lost. "Curvy" Laura edged out Kiara to become America's Next Top Model, and then we were all permitted to instantly forget about her. Huzzah!
And you didn't think I would leave you without going through the list of Top Model freakouts, did you?
Number 10! This was Leila, wrestling with PTSD from her dolphin bruise, crying and hyperventilating as she rode a horse on a Jamaican beach. Leila and animals do not mix, says Tyra!
Number 9! Kelly Cutthroat Cutrone took on Melodramatic Maria after she refused a makeover. Kelly told Maria that no agency would represent an inflexible model who was just starting out, to which Maria snitted that she already had an agency, to which Kelly Cutrone offered to give her $10,000 for every national campaign she's done. Kelly Cutrone paid out zero dollars on that one. Maria was awfully dismissive, and Kelly stormed off on the grounds that Maria was committed to defending mediocrity.
Number 8! Real-ass bitches! Kiara was the star here, but if you'll recall, the other party in the real-ass bitch debate was Darian, who said Kiara was just another skinny girl with a weave. This commentary was brought to you by another skinny girl with a weave.