America's Next Top Model
The Girl With The Deliciously Tacky Dance

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Drunken Angel

There is a montage of the various perfume pitches. Keenyah calls herself "something that every woman would like to have taken around," because apparently she's been taking diction lessons from Tyra. Janice tells Christina that Raid bug spray is sexier than her perfume and, though a mouth full of gumbo, Tyra asks Christina why she's so cold. Kahlen cracks up at Nigel's Johnny Hott. Naima says that even a janitor would love her product, which the judges like. Tiffany can't think of a thing to say. Rebecca says that her perfume is fruity, and Tyra says something nonsensical about a lemon tree. Tatiana says that her perfume is cheap with decent packaging, which is in fact pretty much the essence of her. Then there is Michelle, who says while hulking about, "I am a wrestler, but I try my hardest to be as feni...as fenimen...as fenimen...skip that word." And...ha! Lluvy's bottle looks totally pretty. Tyra -- unsuccessfully trying to be funny -- tells her to be more like Britney Spears. Then Brittany comes out and says that her perfume is called "Deliciously Tacky," and that it's for a man or a woman. Mathu then says nonsensically, "Sounds like a recipe for bisexualism." What the eff is that supposed to mean? These peripheral characters are much easier to like when we don't have to hear them speak. Tyra asks to see Brittany's deliciously tacky dance, and Brittany complies. The result is something akin to Ashlee Simpson's hoedown on Saturday Night Live. The judges send her away.

Evaluations. Tyra tells Brittany that the judges at the Cover Girl party thought she was more interested in drinking than schmoozing. Brittany says that she was just joking around. Nigel says that there are certain clients with whom you can be wild and crazy, but that Cover Girl is not one of them. There is a voice-over from Tyra that was dubbed well after the fact saying, "Cover Girl is fun, but it's also very professional." For her perfume challenge evaluation, Mathu says, "Your negative is...you're a fool. Your positive is...you're a fool." But they love her gas-station photo. Kahlen rolled with the perfume punches well, and her photo impresses all. Nigel tells her that she has a kick-ass body that is of Bond girl caliber. Christina was cold and clinical, per usual. Janice tells her that she has no idea who she is, and Christina starts crying. Christina says that she's seen her mom get walked all over, and doesn't want to be the same way, particularly in an industry that will chew you up and spit you out. Tyra says that she's learned to be strong, but to keep that strength to herself because if she shows it people won't like her or give her jobs. Take note of that nugget, little girls of the world! Janice adds a sympathetic "I'm sorry you feel bad." Nice Janice! She's really softening up this season. Christina's photo is sexy, and Tyra says she looks like Wonder Woman Lynda Carter.

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America's Next Top Model

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