America's Next Top Model
The Girl With The Deliciously Tacky Dance

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Drunken Angel

Tatiana's perfume pitch stank, and she says that she was confused about the task at hand. Her photo gets raves, however. Mathu says that Tatiana is the only girl who "understood the head flip." Despite saying that she looked like a pug last week, Flambé tells her that she has a beautiful face because he has no original opinions whatsoever. Tiffany was dorky and non-consequential in the challenge. And then, despite Mathu's earlier raves about Tiffany during the shoot, the judges heartily dislike her photo. Janice points out the bad judgment in getting tattoos on one's chest, and Mathu says that many of Tiffany's shots looked stripper-ish. Janice's mouth drops in shock. Naima dealt with the crazy judges well in the perfume challenge. Janice loves her photo and Mathu says she was great to shoot. Because she just doesn't like Naima, Tyra says that Naima's shot is a little crotchy, and Nigel agrees. Flambé, because he can only regurgitate what Tyra or Nigel says, says that he doesn't like it. Janice reiterates that she thinks it's fabulous. Keenyah was okay on the perfume, but her photo is disappointing. Rebecca was rehearsed in her photo pitch. Tyra and Nigel like Rebecca's body in her picture, but her face is kind of nightmarish. And I have to say that I think part of it might be the fault of her clownish red lipstick. Lluvy was a bubbling fool with the perfume, and looks dopey in her photo. Mathu says that she had a lot of energy and a lot of heart, but that it didn't come together. Flambé tells Michelle that he likes her, and that she reminds him a lot of who he is. That is to say, almost a man. Janice says, "So you think you're a seven-foot-tall blonde?" Hee! The judges love Michelle's photo from a distance, but Flambé says that up close she looks like Carrie, the murderous prom queen. Tyra dismisses the girls.

The judges deliberate. Janice says that she doesn't like Tatiana's "little pretty girl-next-door Pekinese punched look in the face." Nigel says that Tatiana has everything it takes to get most guys going. He clearly has the hots for her. Kahlen is great. Brittany is cool, interesting, loud and obnoxious. Flambé says that her photo is amazing and looks like early Herb Ritts. Tiffany looks scared and scary. Keenyah was stiff, and can do better. Mathu likes Christina's WASP-y Yankee thing. Tyra likes that she cried, because that is not so secretly what this show is all about. Flambé calls Michelle his little tomboy/tomgirl. Nigel says that Michelle is twitchy, and Tyra says that Michelle tugs at her heartstrings. And yes, Michelle is a sad and sorry case. But also an ogre. Rebecca reminds Mathu of a great stock runway model, and Flambé agrees that she's beautiful but not America's Next Top Model. Janice says that he doesn't know that yet, and he reluctantly agrees. Lluvy looks like a wet Chihuahua on espresso, according to Flambé. Mathu says that there's something about her that's mesmerizing. Tyra agrees that she has the face to be a star, but doesn't know what to do with that face. Naima has a beautiful, creamy voice. Janice says that Naima has the best body of all the girls, and Mathu says she needs to lose five to ten pounds. Janice then yells in a dead serious way, "They're all fat. The entire room is fat. I'm fat. You're all fat." HA! I want that on my Janice highlight reel.

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America's Next Top Model

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