America's Next Top Model
The Girl With The Deliciously Tacky Dance

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Drunken Angel

One of the judges asks Christina what she thinks of the current Cover Girl spokesmodels. Christina says that she doesn't know a lot of the new girls, and points to Kiara – to whom she was just introduced -- as an example. The judge points out her faux pas, and Christina rightly feels like an idiot. Kahlen talks about the product to the judges. Rebecca says that she can see herself alongside of the other Cover Girl spokesmodels. One of the judges -- Anais Lombard from Elle Girl magazine -- says in a French accent that a first impression can be untrustworthy, but that it's very important for a model to be distinctive in some way. Tatiana tells the other judge from Elle that Elle is her favorite magazine. Tiffany interviews that she's nervous and intimidated, so she's looking at the makeup and trying not to interact. Lluvy says that she's always her goofball self, and we see her chatting up a judge who is impressed by Lluvy's luxurious natural lashes. Michelle interviews that she was worried about her skin condition, but that she always tries to find the positive side of things. Yeah, she's a regular Mary Sunshine. Or, Marty Sunshine. On cue, Eva Chen of Elle says that the skin is a model's canvas, and needs to be flawless, particularly for a campaign like Cover Girl.

Jay gathers the girls and tells them that they have been secretly judged, and that the party was their challenge. He prefaces this by saying that Cover Girls are much more than pretty faces. He then gives them their critiques, about a third of which are about how they look. Idiot. Tiffany was uncommunicative. Kahlen had a great look and skin. Naima was too quiet. Keenyah was poised and cool. Christina wasn't paying attention to who she met. Tatiana didn't talk much. Lluvy was very eloquent and knowledgeable about her unique beauty. Rebecca was beautiful with a great body. Brittany was a boozy whore. Michelle didn't look comfortable and her skirt was too short. The winner of the challenge and a friend get to spend a posh night at a fabulous beach hotel. And the winner is Keenyah. She interviews that she was excited, because she hadn't yet won anything. She picks Brittany to go with her, most likely because Brittany will feed underage Keenyah sips of her margarita. Which is as good a reason as any, if you ask me. Tiffany says that she doesn't know if Keenyah is looking for a big sister or what, but that Brittany and Keenyah need to stick together and "get cut together." And since it's Tiffany, I am half-expecting her to whip out a rusty razor blade. But sadly, she does not. Jay tells Brittany to lay off the booze.

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America's Next Top Model

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