Dinner time. Eva says that skinny Amy looks disgusting, that she has an eating disorder, that no man will ever sleep with her, and that she'll never be able to bear kids. Ann calls Eva "outspoken." ["For real. I was saying all those things myself, but not to the girl's face! I have class." -- Wing Chun] Mary calls Eva "a flat-out bitch." Amy, attempting to defend herself, tries to point at Eva, but then her arm snaps off at the elbow and she's really too tired to speak anyway. Because, you know, her metabolism is so fast.

Commercials. Seriously, you guys, what the hell is wrong with Britney Spears?

Auditions session three! Yaya is soso happyhappy to be there. She's supposed to fit the "smart" slot, telling us that she speaks three languages and goes to Brown University. Now, I'm not saying that anyone here is in any way affiliated with Brown or its surrounding environs. If by chance this were to be the case, however, one might be able to make the claims that Brown has (a) a kick-ass benefits and retirement package; (b) a student body in which the percentage of morons is most definitely statistically greater than zero. So the jury is still out on Yaya, especially after that "hologram" comment. Yaya's father is a Yoruban priest, and she's here to represent "a beauty that is black." I didn't know horses had agents. Unfortunately she also represents a face that is pimply. This concerns the judges, and particularly "Mr." Jay.

Next up: Jennipher, age twenty-two, Pocatello, Idaho. Phunny, I thought she was phrom Filadelfia. Jennipher's video shows that Pocatello is a town for hicks and freaks, and not for glamorous supermodels. When asked why she wants to be a model, Jennipher tearfully explains that she needs to get out of Pocatello -- you won't find her getting knocked up and sporting the Jaclyn Smith collection for the rest of her life! -- and that the only way to do that is to go on a reality-television show that results in fame and fortune. I'm sorry, but if you want to get the hell out of Dodge, then just move. It's not that I'm not sympathetic, but all I'm saying is that you don't see me hanging around the 7-11 in Turtle Creek very much these days. It can be done.

Aimee Mann escapes from 1984 and walks into the room. No, it's actually crazy-haired Rachael, who has some modeling experience but hasn't yet landed a "big opportunity" such as this. She thinks her experience (not to mention her sassy brown poncho!) gives her a leg up over the other girls.