America's Next Top Model
America's Next Top Model

Episode Report Card
Potes: B+ | 887 USERS: B-
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Twisted Sister

Tyra tells the girls to look at their competition. She says that it's not always the prettiest girl who makes it (yeah, we know), nor is it the edgiest girl, but the one who has something extra special. She says that she's looking for girls who are like, "Tyra, here I am, I'm better than this bitch right next to me!" And I guess this means that Tyra would have liked Janice more if she hadn't actually been the bitch right next to Janice. Tyra sashays off with the Jays.

Auditions begin! The girls go to meet Tyra and the Jays, who make up a tiny interview panel. Bre introduces herself. Her real name is Brittany. Perhaps I will start calling myself "Tre." Bre says that she gets frustrated at the mentality in Harlem where, if I am interpreting her correctly, people become very complacent in their social and economic situations. We then find out that Bre is messy and sometimes doesn't bathe herself. Miss J. smells her armpit. That is something you should only do to someone you love, and only then with extreme caution. Bre says that she doesn't have a problem speaking her mind and sticking up for herself. After she leaves, Tyra says that she's spunky, and Miss J. sniffs the air and says that she's funky.

Next is Kyle, who appears slightly less pretty in her peach-colored culottes. She works at the Dexter Dairy Queen and loves it. I would love working at a Diary Queen, too, because it is the birthplace of delicious. ["I wholeheartedly agree. Peanut Buster Parfait 4Eva!" -- Wing Chun] Kyle says that she has a very normal life and a great family, despite the fact that they named her after a man. She says that her normal upbringing sets her apart from the other girls who are abused or have kids, and adds that fellow contestant Kim is the first lesbian she's ever met. She says it not with disgust but rather a bit of wonder, like she's just seen a unicorn or minotaur or something. Tyra contends that Kyle has met lesbians before but just hasn't known it. I kind of hope that she will call Kyle's mom a lesbian, just for the hell of it, but alas, she does not. Kyle interviews that she's very open-minded and is always "the nice girl." And she actually does seem kind of nice, so we'll wait for her to prove us wrong.

America's Next Top Model

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