Next, a real live drag queen. It is April, twenty-two, from Las Vegas. Tyra says that she likes April's funky personal style, which includes inch-long fake eyelashes the panel asks her to remove. They make her wash off her makeup and come back, and she literally looks about a hundred times better and also like a woman. Sort of. Jay uses one of her eyelashes as a Hitler mustache, and it looks oddly natural.

Next is Lisa, twenty-four, from Los Angeles, who might be kind of ugly. I can't quite tell. She interviews that she gets excited about every little good thing that happens to her. She then tells the panel that her mom never had any maternal instincts and didn't buy her stuff and was very selfish. She also hints that her mom abused her. Tears. Tyra asks how, when Lisa was obviously so affected by her mother's constant criticism, she's going to deal with the judges' critiques week after week. Lisa says that she can handle anything because she's already had it from the worst source, her mother. And now she actually looks kind of pretty. I am so confused about her face. Tyra can tell that Lisa is giving her all and showing who she is, and would make an excellent guest on The Tyra Banks Show. Lisa says that her heart is too big for her. Tyra is in love with Lisa and thinks she's the sweetest thing in the world, which renders her maybe-ugliness irrelevant. Jay just rolls his eyes, which makes me like him a tiny bit.

Back at the Beverly Hilton, the girls have dinner of sandwiches and Ramen Noodles. Delicious, right? Not according to Nicole. We will call this incident Chapstick II. Nicole says that her noodles taste bad and that she cooked them wrong. I don't know how this is possible, but let's go with it. Bre says that she is sick of Nicole's complaining and wants her to shut up. And I can actually see why Nicole's mom doesn't like her very much. Another girl says that she's ghetto and knows how to cook her Ramen noodles. Nicole interviews that you can't get mad at her for not knowing how to make Ramen noodles. No, but you could get mad at her for ignoring the printed three-step instructions on the lid in favor of a desperate plea for attention. Nicole says that the other girl has been complaining about everything. The girl then says (thank you, captioners!), "Don't even put my name in it 'cause I did not open it 'cause I don't give a damn about them chips." Well, unknown girl, I knew Brandy. I worked with Brandy, and you are no Brandy. Kim offers cookies to try to calm everyone down. I would totally have some of Kim's cookies. Commericals.