Auditions begin! The girls go to meet Tyra and the Jays, who make up a tiny interview panel. Bre introduces herself. Her real name is Brittany. Perhaps I will start calling myself "Tre." Bre says that she gets frustrated at the mentality in Harlem where, if I am interpreting her correctly, people become very complacent in their social and economic situations. We then find out that Bre is messy and sometimes doesn't bathe herself. Miss J. smells her armpit. That is something you should only do to someone you love, and only then with extreme caution. Bre says that she doesn't have a problem speaking her mind and sticking up for herself. After she leaves, Tyra says that she's spunky, and Miss J. sniffs the air and says that she's funky.
Next is Kyle, who appears slightly less pretty in her peach-colored culottes. She works at the Dexter Dairy Queen and loves it. I would love working at a Diary Queen, too, because it is the birthplace of delicious. ["I wholeheartedly agree. Peanut Buster Parfait 4Eva!" -- Wing Chun] Kyle says that she has a very normal life and a great family, despite the fact that they named her after a man. She says that her normal upbringing sets her apart from the other girls who are abused or have kids, and adds that fellow contestant Kim is the first lesbian she's ever met. She says it not with disgust but rather a bit of wonder, like she's just seen a unicorn or minotaur or something. Tyra contends that Kyle has met lesbians before but just hasn't known it. I kind of hope that she will call Kyle's mom a lesbian, just for the hell of it, but alas, she does not. Kyle interviews that she's very open-minded and is always "the nice girl." And she actually does seem kind of nice, so we'll wait for her to prove us wrong.
Next is the aforementioned Kim, who strolls in with her bad babydyke self. She looks a little less hot and a more pudgy-faced, and says that she's a student at Wesleyan. She tells the panel that she can bring something different to the modeling world, that she has a somewhat masculine look, and that she's a big lez. Woo! She says that she's out and proud, and Tyra kind of tells her not to be so out and proud. Given the company that Tyra keeps, I find this a little odd. Also, shut up, Tyra. Kim strikes a pose for the panel, and it is about the stupidest pose I've ever seen. After she leaves, Jay says that she looked like a football player, which I am sad to report she actually kind of did.
Next is Jayla, twenty, from Tucson, Arizona. Looks-wise, she's kind of like a skankier Norelle. She says that she was raised a Jehovah's Witness but has strayed. She's a fornicator, a smoker, and a midnight toker. She says that she still believes in the religion, but is trying to get everything out of her system now. I always love that excuse. She models a swimsuit and displays some bony-ass ribs and gorgeous eyes. Miss J. tells her that she's on the Jehovah's layaway plan -- buy now, pray later. She agrees.