America's Next Top Model
The Girl With The Twisted Catch Phrase

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Twisted Sister

Next up is redheaded Regina, nineteen, from San Mateo, California. Tyra asks if her hair color is real, and Regina says that it is, although she would love to dye it blonde like Jay's. She explains to us that she gained a lot of weight when she turned eighteen and is still trying to get it off. Tyra says that Regina has the white-girl version of Tyra's booty - the jiggle, size, shape, and everything. Being a lingerie model must make you become really familiar with your own ass.

And then comes Ebony, who is SO EXCITED to be there. Ebony is like Kelle but less pretty and more annoying. Chew on that one for a while. Ebony LOVES her high school. She tells the panel that she was born to be a model and has no choice about the matter. Too bad God and his DNA Czars didn't feel the same way. Tyra asks Ebony about her motto, which is "Don't get it twisted." And when I saw the title of this episode, I thought someone was going to have a motto like, "A bird in the bush is worth three in the cooch" or "Don't count all your weaves before they hatch in the basket." I am really disappointed. Miss J. says he heard that Ebony knows all the other girls' names, and she does a run-through of everyone. And if this were America's Next Top Memory competition, I'd say she has an edge. As it is, she seems like a bit of an underdog. She does have a skinny body with big boobs, though, which I guess is an asset.

Back at the Hilton, one girl calls Ebony out for being fake and talking about people behind their backs. And Ebony totally seems like the type who wants to be liked so much that she'll say anything to impress the person she's with at the moment. But Ebony denies the allegations. Another girl wants to play a round of truth or dare and starts with the question, "If you could punch anybody in this room right now, who would you punch?" Jayla says she'd punch Ebony because she's so over-the-top, energetic, and annoying. Ebony says something to the cameras about people not liking her and that being okay, and then says, "Don't get it twisted." Maybe she likes being punched.

The girls gather the next day in a cleared-out hotel conference room, where the Jays tell them that they're going to partake in a fashion show, but as with most shows, there is only room for twenty. The first cut! It's the deepest. The girls size each other up. And then Jay reveals the true Machiavellian twist and stroke of genius for this episode: the sixteen girls who are cut must serve as the audience for the show and support the models that beat them. HA! These are truly the moments when I love this show. The girls run cattle-like through a set of brass doors -- or, as Miss J. calls them, the golden doors through which they'll find their fate -- and try to find their photos on wardrobe racks. Commercials.

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America's Next Top Model




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