America's Next Top Model
The Girls Are 1940s Pin-Ups

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Kyle-ing Me Softly

A black-and-white photo of Tyra paired with a Tyra in a corset welcome us to judging. And really, is there such a shortage of pictures of Tyra in lacy underthings that we need to see that? Her outfit at judging is hideous, with a sort of ruffly strap that goes around her neck. She tells the girls that they are looking sexified. In any case, it's time for the sixth cut. There are prizes, there are judges. J. Alexander's hair is looking very Tempest Bledsoe, and Tyra compliments him on it. Photographer Richard Dean is the guest judge. Tyra tells the girls that, this week, they learned about sexiness vs. sleaziness and having confidence come from within. They're going to have a challenge about what sexiness means to them, and get a room full of clothes and three minutes to put together what they consider to be a sexy outfit. As they are sent off, Tyra screams, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Sex!" We get to see the girls in their skivvies.

Lisa is first, and is wearing a wifebeater and jeans. She says that the challenge made her think of a story. The story is that if you're looking hot and someone wants to talk to you, they just want to talk to you because you look hot. Amazing how she put two and two together right then. Also, not a story. Twiggy says that a white singlet (which is British for wifebeater) and jeans is very sexy, and that Lisa looks hot right now. Nigel says that she looks like a model, and Lisa throws her arms out and says, "Here I am!"

Next up is Nicole, wearing a strapless black dress and flip flops. She says it's cute and sexy, but Miss J. and Tyra say that it doesn't work for them. Nigel says that he feels where she's coming from, but most of all he wants to feel her ass. I mean, that's the subtext, anyway.

Bre is wearing a tank top and boxer shorts and says that when her boyfriend comes home, he'd rather her be natural than dressed up and beautified. There are limits to that, I think. The panel asks her to put her hair down, and agree that she looks much sexier. Miss J. shakes his hair around too, and does not look sexier.

Next is Kyle, who is wearing a black skirt and dressy gray tank top. Miss J. calls it housewives choice. Nigel says it seems like Kyle isn't thinking. He says that he doesn't think she's doing it on purpose, but that she needs to be smart, too. He adds that the outfit doesn't suit her body. Tyra comments that Kyle isn't selling the outfit. It's true that she looks kind of mediocre.

Next is Jayla, who looks especially whoreish in, like, tapered white-blue jeans and a bikini top. And it's the worst genre of whoreishness, appearing both slutty and also poverty-stricken. Inexplicably, the judges love it. Tyra comments that Jayla is having fun, and that the other girls are playing it too safe. She says that Jayla has blown the other girls away.

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America's Next Top Model

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