America's Next Top Model
The Girls Become Super Heroes

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Lisa interviews that all of the girls will probably get on each other's nerves at some point but that she's looking forward to tomorrow and at the beginning of the competition.

The next day the girls sit around and discuss breakfast. Cassandra chirps that she likes cereal, before noticing with horror that her feet are dirty. She says in a snitty tone that the house is dirty, to which I respond GET YOUR FUCKING FEET OFF OF THE COUNTERTOP. But I guess them is privileged manners. Nicole interviews that Cassandra is a control freak and drives everyone nuts. And if Nicole thinks that you are annoying, it might be time for a little self-reflection. We get a montage of Cassandra complaining that her room is small, that the pool is cold, and that Yoanna drove her nuts. Poor Yoanna gets no respect. Kyle remembers Season 2 Catie crying her eyes out when her hair was cut, and she tells Cassandra not to cry if they cut her hair because it will grow back. "Uhhh, yeah, in three years," says Cassandra. Oh, I cannot wait until the makeover episode. Kyle interviews that Cassandra seems to think that she's better than everyone else, and Lisa says that Cassandra's spoiled, which will be her weakness.

Tyra Mail! The first of the season. It reads, "Do you have high self-esteem? How much are you worth? Be ready at 4 PM." They are going to sell the girls off like illegal immigrant hookers! I knew this day would come. A driver rings the doorbell and announces that he will take them around in a gigantic stretch SUV limousine. Now that is a bit excessive. The limo is decked out with pink fabric, zebra stripes, makeup, and Top Model everything -- even Top Model water (fresh from "you look like an amputee" springs). The girls are excited. They pull up to a nightclub on Hollywood Boulevard where they meet Jay Manuel, who is wearing a pink blazer and short, wide, striped tie. He tells the girls that they are having a huge fashion event that night -- "very bling in L.A." -- run by Life & style magazine. He says that there will be fashionistas, press, and celebrities (Carol Channing!), and that the girls will be walking in the show. He notes that there is a red carpet outside, and the camera quite hilariously cuts to a tall staircase with a little red carpet running up it. This event is clearly only for the very famous. Sarah says that her heart jumped and sank at the same time because she doesn't know how to walk. There is a shot of her frowning in which she appears very pretty, because she looks a hundred times better when her mouth is shut. Commercials.

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America's Next Top Model

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