When we return...fashion show! There seems to be quite a crowd, with celebrities including the one and only MISS TORI SPELLING! Wow, Robin Leach and Tori Spelling in the SAME EPISODE! I don't know how they'll top this. Nigel and Miss J. sit in the audience. Backstage, Jay tells the girls that they have to get their own makeup ready. They run to a set of mirrors in front of which multiple Cover Girl products are lined up. Bre says that she's no makeup expert, so she is sticking with what she knows. At the end of the lineup, Kim twitters that she has never worn makeup and doesn't know how to use it. Girl, you went to Wesleyan. I'm sure you can figure out how to use eyeliner. But no, she says she wants to use the liner to write with. Kim asks who wants to help her with the makeup, and Ashley conspicuously walks away. Ebony narrates that Ashley told Kim to figure it out, which hurt Kim because the two are friends and roommates. Ebony offers to help her. Ashley interviews that helping other people wasn't her concern, and I really can't fault her for that. A made-up Kim -- who apparently needs a few more lessons -- interviews that, as much as she likes her, Ashley can't be trusted.
The girls are outfitted and accessorized. Nik calls the runway -- which is basically a square with two sides extended out -- "the most hectic puzzle ever." Somewhere in Games Magazine, a cryptogram gets very offended. Kyle says that the tricky runway was given to them for a reason, and that two girls will have to walk simultaneously. Diane, who is not going to be America's Next Top Model, says that eventually the girls will cross one another, and Cassandra speculates that they'll fall on their faces. The girls look for space to practice their walks backstage in their ridiculous shoes, and Sarah speculates that she has the worst walk. Footage from the semi-finals backs this up. She reconsiders and says that she doesn't think she has a bad walk, just bad balance.
Jay welcomes the girls to "the real glamorous life of a model," and quickly introduces them to hip-hop artist Nate Dogg, who is going to be the MC for the evening. Frida Cor-lo tells us that Nate Dogg is a hip-hop icon, which is helpful to me. Jay tells the girls that Nate Dogg will give them the "vibe" for their walk, and that they need to take what he says and put their top model spin on it. Clear on that? Nate first introduces Ashley, who must walk like a "sensual" woman. Bre is "quirky," and tells us in retrospect that she was fierce on the runway. Cassandra is "posh," which is a real stretch. Coryn is "regal," and notes that the girls kept walking into one another on the complicated runway. Diane kind of sideswipes Coryn. Jayla is spunky. Ebony is "avant-garde," which is pretty stupid. Nik is "cutting-edge." Kim is "sassy." She says that she'll probably laugh when she sees herself walk on the runway (true dat), but that she loves having people look at her. Lisa is "feisty." Nicole is "ferocious," and uses thoughts of someone stealing her Chapstick as motivation. Kyle is "confident." Sarah is "glitzy." She glitzily trips on her glitzy gown and totally loses all confidence. The crowd murmurs about how much she sucks, and she admits that the experience was humiliating. But, like, she knew she was auditioning for the show. Practice walking in heels! ["I love how Nate Dogg was like, 'She still fine.' Heh." -- Wing Chun] The girls go through another round as things get hectic backstage. Lisa says that she loves the chaos. Nicole notes that Sarah needs walking lessons, and fast. Sarah comes out again as "queenly" in a leather minidress. She stumbles yet again and walks like she is Cro-Magnon man. Diane says that the show was good overall, but that people probably noticed that they were amateurs. She might actually say "immature," but I am going to give her the benefit of the doubt. Jay tells them that it was the worst fashion show he's ever done, but a good effort on their part. Sarah, still sore from her failure on the runway, can't manage to get her shirt to cover her bra. She frowns.